Ebbing and flowing between my knowing and my feelings of loss. I am happy for my puppy and his path of least resistance. He is getting his upgrade today. He is re-emerging into non-physical and will claim a fresh new puppy body, so that he may rejoin all of the things he loves best. Chasing the ball, running on the beach, hiking a new trail, sniffing out new adventures.
We will summon the best of you into our new furry friend. Safe travels Waffles Bear, our sweet golden boy.
OMG!!!! Keri is so hilarious sometimes. This weekend when we were coming home from the Farmer’s Market, Nicki Minaj’s cover of Baby Got Back was on the radio. Sir Mix-a-lot sang his part about, “my anaconda don’t want some unless you’ve got buns hon” and Keri said, I don’t really want to be thinking about his anaconda and let’s just be honest, it’s probably more like a garter snake. right?
Oh Lord! She cracks me up. We have so much fun together and it just keeps getting better and better. I sure do love my wife.
Throughout my life I have sort of been a half-assed meditator, meaning I would meditate when I was stressed, angry or upset. I have had some amazing paradigm shifts in my life as a result of mediation in those times of distress. I can remember shifting beyond caring about what a bully in my life thought and then reveling with delight to myself when that particular person made another attempt to bully me. What a sense of relief to move past such a consuming feeling of being small and inconsequential. I felt as if I grew 6 feet that day.
In other times of extreme pain, I’ve meditated to get beyond it and it worked. I’m not saying the meditation took away the pain completely, but it certainly did take the edge off. Ultimately, though, meditation did take away the pain because the clarity I gained from being so focused, opened my mind to the idea that I had choices. I could choose different doctors with different philosophies and receive more intuitive care. The intuitive care lead to resolution, so I would be completely remiss to not credit the mediation at all. Don’t you think?
Anyway the point is if meditation could assist me in such times of pain or mistreatment, why was I not utilizing this amazing tool when things were going well? Doesn’t it make sense if things are shitty and you want them to be better, meditate? Well, why not meditate when things are going well to create opportunity for something amazing?
Well guess what!!! Things were going well and Keri said she wanted to start meditating 15 minutes a day and I said, Hell yes! Me too. As a result the most amazing things are happening in my life. My car accident that lead me to believe that my little silver bullet was going to be totaled has been restored and returned to me. I am feeling tremendous love and adoration for my wife, not that I wasn’t before, it’s just going so well, I thought I’d mention it. I am feeling a sense of fulfillment in my job as a manager at the dental office that I am truly enjoying my work. My blog is growing and reaching more people, which is leading to my dreams coming true.
I am surrounded by random amazing strangers who really aren’t strange at all. Like the Orgonite gifter I wrote about in my Happy Father’s Day post and Jonna the amazing shoe sharer from my, It’s just the way I see it post. Then there’s the amazing dude named Ed that delivers a dose of true connection every time he frequents my office to keep our textiles fresh. We mustn’t forget David from the Shimmering Pools of Butter post.
Today I had the pleasure of meeting Isaac. He came by today to repair our garage door. The spring broke, so the opener would not work and he fixed it. Thank you Isaac for the door and the true connection.
I simply can not even tell you all of the big and small amazing things that have been coming up in my life. They are too numerous to mention them all, but let’s just say that I have come to believe that meditation is a life changer. It’s kinda like this, when you begin meditation and clear your mind of the static and clutter, it creates space for divine wisdom. Guidance. Intuition.
I am grateful for my knowing.
I don’t know about you, but I have been managing my personal grooming for quite a number of years now. It can be tiresome. Clipping finger nails, filing them, plucking eye brows, washing hair, flossing and brushing my teeth, applying lotions and oils to moisturizer my skin, shaving legs, armpits and other places. I must say I really do enjoy the pleasure and relaxation of having someone else tend to my toe nails. Pedicures are a little bit of heaven I have shorted myself on over the years, but no more!!!
I also recently have started sharing the task of personal grooming in the nether regions. Aren’t I nice to share? I’ve been treating myself to getting waxed. I didn’t really know what to call it so I looked on-line. The internet is a very amazing thing ya’ know? So, I called UrbanWaxx and scheduled what they very nonchalantly call a “Bikini and crack”. It was surprisingly not bad at all. There’s a tie for my #1 favorite thing about getting waxed. One is how smooth and clean I feel and two is how infrequent I have to tend to business down there.
There is a little bit of maintenance between waxes and I just happened to be doing that very thing just a couple of days ago. Have you ever paid attention to all the peculiar positions you have to contort yourself into to do all this grooming? Have you ever peered in the mirror and looked at yourself while you are plucking your eyebrows? Well I was thinking about this when I was tending to my nether regions and I thought it might be funny to blog about it, but I couldn’t decide if I should or not.
Then all of a sudden it became crystal clear. Where did the clarity come from? Well, it just sort of hit me all at once as I was standing there with nothin’ between me and god but my smile straddling the toilet and my little scissors slipped right out of my hand and kerplunk! They landed right in that toilet water. I just threw my head back and laughed.
I looked down at that water littered with trimmings and said aloud to myself, This is too funny not to share. As I was retrieving the scissors, I just knew when I told Keri about it she was going to say, I hope you washed those scissors and sure as I live and breathe she said that very thing. Of course I washed the scissors silly, how could you even ask me that question?
One morning this last week I was talking to Waffles, our 12 year-old golden retriever puppy, as I was making breakfast. I was telling him all the things I love about him. I always include his sweet brown dramatic eyes and his beautiful blonde eyelashes. I talked to him about his gorgeous white sail of a tail. I told him how much I loved his expressive little eye brows.
I love it when I am having a bad day and I sit down to cry he comes and sits right beside me. Most times he doesn’t do anything, he doesn’t even look at me, but he just sit there and will BE with me as I cry. He usually he gives me a sweet little sideways look as if to ask me if I’m going to be ok. Sometimes he’ll put his paw on my leg. He really is the sweetest dog I have ever known.
I was telling him how I thought he was not just our dog of dogs, but THE DOG of DOGS. I know people who are admittedly not “dog people” and you know what? They LOVE Waffles. His sweetness effortlessly transcends limits set before him.
One of the best things Waffles exemplifies is the philosophy of TRUE. He has no false pretense. He does not care who comes to visit him if someone else has something yummy and he thinks he just might have a chance of getting some yummy in his tummy, he will totally ignore his visitor. He never intends to hurt anyones feelings, he just knows what he wants and he’s going to drum up the cutest face he can to get it too.
Waffles you are one of my very best friends and I love the example of living and loving life that you provide to me and everyone that has the tremendous amount of luck to know you. Mommies love you buddy.
I am a very sensitive person and I am also kind of naive. I feel that my naivety is associated with my childlike demeanor. I don’t watch the news because it doesn’t make me feel good. I don’t follow politics for the same reason. I like simple things. I like silence. I like the sound of a single flute. I like blue sky. I like laughing. I like things to be simple and sometimes the way I think and live can come off as insensitive.
Sometimes things I do, because it doesn’t bother me one bit can seem insensitive because I am not really thinking about how it affects other people. Here’s an example: I was at a conference in Las Vegas last year and you all know how busy restrooms can get at a break during a conference. Well,… the line for the women’s restroom was probably 50 people or more long and the line for the men’s restroom was non-existent. In my mind a toilet is a toilet right? There were stalls in the men’s restroom, so I waltzed right in there and used a stall. No waiting. No muss no fuss.
This was not the first time I had done this, I have done it on many occasions, at a fair, at a concert, in restaurants, really anywhere. It seemed like who cares, I have to pee and clearly I will have to WAIT in this long line or just walk right into this other room and go right now. I never really understood what the big deal was all about. There are stalls in both and if I am going into a stall what difference does it make?
Well, it was brought to my attention that though it may not bother me at all to walk into a men’s restroom to share “their” facility, it may make “them” uncomfortable. It never even occurred to me and to any man who I may have ever caused any discomfort in the restroom by walking in and using a private stall, I apologize. It certainly was never my intention to cause anyone to feel uncomfortable. I was simply trying to expedite my own relief.
It does bring to my mind the question though,… why are we so comfortable with some of our body parts and not all of our body parts. I think and this truly is my honest opinion, nudity is not that big of a deal. My dog walks around naked all the time and nobody thinks anything of it. A body is a body. Head, shoulders, knees and toes. Face, breasts, butt and ankles. We love nudity when it comes to babies and their cute little bellies and tushies. Why do we turn to shame as we age?
I don’t really know the answer to that question, but I welcome your comments if you have an opinion on the subject of nudity and how shame develops around our bodies as we age. I am comfortable with nudity and I walk around naked in my house everyday.
I think it’s a very good thing to remember that we are all human and when we are human we have less than perfect moments in our lives. When you are a mindful person and choose to be selective about the people you surround yourself with you can know with certainty that when someone in your inner circle is having an off day that everything is going to be alright because you know their heart.
When you know someone’s heart and they know yours, there is room for trust. When you have trust there is room for love inspite of less than perfect moments. It feels so good when love rushes in.
You know you’ve got the good stuff when love rushes in.
Keri and I watched Saturday Night Fever last night. I LOVE that music!!! The movie has some pretty sad ideas in it, but you kinda have to paint a sad picture sometimes to create a feeling of hope and provide a sense that Tony Manero will over come his dismal life experience as a paint store clerk and weekend disco dancer. He does eventually become a fantastic broadway dancer, but you don’t even realize this is going to happen unless you also watch the sequel, Staying Alive.
The reason I love the disco music of that movie so much is because it reminds me of my youth. I remember going to the movie theater with my mom in 1977 and watching the dances in that movie and fantasizing that I could have a dance partner like Stephanie. Unlike most girls who, I imagine, were probably fantasizing about Tony. (Did you watch the link connected to Stephanie? It’s pretty dreamy)
I can remember my mom playing the record in our apartment and I would practice walking like Tony Manero during the intro of the movie when he’s got that big’ol grin on his face and he’s strutting the streets of Brooklyn. My mom was really diggin’ it. I can still hear her saying, “You’re stuttin’ just like Tony!”. It seemed to me that she was squealing with delight and in my little 7 year old mind, as I was struttin’ and being egged on by my mom I was thinking, “I could get a girlfriend like Stephanie. Look at me strut!” Can’t you just imagine a little 7 year old Angel struttin’ around with a big’ol smile on her face?
Now imagine me at 44, struttin’ my stuff because I got myself that girlfriend and made her my wife. I get a big’ol smile on my face every time I hear, Ain’t No Woman Like the One I Got by The Four Tops from 1978. That little 7 year old’s dream has a life and I am living it!! Dreams do come true.
I’d like to share a lesson I learned recently that I think is very valuable and can be used in many circumstances in life, personally and professionally. This lesson helps me tremendously because I used to do whatever I could to avoid what I perceived as a conflict, even after I’d taken a communications class several years ago and was taught that conflict is not a bad thing. It wasn’t until recently I was able to come to terms with this concept.
Perhaps it was a slight tweak in the verbage, perhaps it simply was the right time for me to learn this lesson, but here it is in all it’s awesomeness. There are no objections, only opportunities for clarification. It feels so amazing to have this slightly shifted perception of objections/conflicts. It really used to be paralyzing for me to encounter a situation that had even the slightest bit of conflict or even perceived conflict about it.
I would feel a tightness in my chest and my stomach would begin to hurt and I would freeze up and shut down. I would, literally, go silent or maybe stammer and stumble over my words. I am not exactly sure how this shift came about, but I don’t even care how it came about. I am just so grateful.
I am happy and confident in my knowing. What am I knowing? I am knowing that I am a good person. I am well intended. I am not perfect and I make mistakes, but I know that I am always doing the best that I can at any given moment. My best will vary from day-to-day as circumstances in my life change, but never the less, I KNOW I am doing my best and if there is any question, objection or conflict I will approach the situation and clarify with confidence because I know like I know like I know that I am always doing my best.