A couple weekends ago I ordered a salad for lunch with a vegan patty burger and a gluten free bun and strangely enough the vegan burger I ordered came with gorgonzola and bacon. Yes, cheese and bacon, two of my weaknesses. I know I could have requested the bacon and cheese be removed, but like I said before, it a weakness. It’s a salty thing. After I ate that yummy deliciousness I walked home in complete and utter pain. My stomach was hurting so bad and I really wanted to remember that feeling. So, I chanted to myself the whole walk home, “This is how you feel when you eat bacon”
It kinda feels like I have a bunch of hard lessons ahead of me. I am trying to eat healthier and am doing a pretty good job, but there is a fair bit of reprogramming to do. I am retraining my brain. You might think that I would consider the items that have given me a stomach ache and cross reference them across the food scale. Like, ok, ice cream gave me a stomach ache last week, hmmm, maybe I shouldn’t eat cheese cake. But I really like cheese cake and what if it doesn’t have the same affect?
ANGEL!!!! What??? Is a piece of cheese cake worth a 12 hour stomach ache? Not today. That’s all I can do, is take it day by day. Some days it’s even a meal by meal decision. Just because I decide to eat something bad at lunch does not mean I have to throw the rest of the day in the trash. Making one mistake isn’t made better by making another, what the hell, I already screwed up, mistake.
Acceptance of our imperfections and flaws empowers us to be stronger and make better choices! It is totally ok to slip, just remember to real it back in.
There are so many amazing people in the world and in my life. I sometimes feel there simply is not near enough time to spend quality time with all the wonderfully amazing people I have the joy of encountering.
I have been told that there is plenty of time and that there are no mistakes, so I am left to believe that the people I am able to spend quality time with are the energies that are perfectly and divinely guided to me. I am so very grateful and my heart is incapable of containing the joy these wonderful people bring to my life.
I thought it might be interesting to share my most recent reaction to food. As readers of this blog, you are probably already aware of the clean eating journey my wife and I have embarked upon. On this journey we have found relief from pain caused by swelling and inflammation in the joints and spine. We have found ourselves feeling lighter and by that, I mean the cleaner foods don’t cause a reaction in the belly of being bloated and painfully gassy. You know the feeling I am talking about, a painful belly ache that makes you want to take some sort of antacid type medication or possibly poke your belly with a crochet needle just to feel a bit of relief.
Well, you might remember that I learned recently that doughy white flour pizza, french fries and fried corn chips are not my friend and this weekend I discovered that ice cream has joined the ranks of unfriendly foods to Angel’s belly. It’s a shame too because I LOVE ice cream, but you know what I don’t love,… 12 hours of bloated belly accompanied with sharp pains. It comes on pretty quick too. I was kinda surprised how quickly my tummy went, BOOF! and bloated out like I had some how swallowed a balloon. It was not comfortable at all.
So, the next time someone asks me if I want ice cream, I will stop and ask myself, Are you really asking me if I want ice cream or are you asking me if I want a 12 hour stomach ache? I will scratch my chin and ponder how much I like ice cream and then ask myself, Is the short pleasure of tasty ice cream really worth the cost? That will be an easy way to say NO to ice cream because really I will be saying no to a stomach ache. There now ice cream doesn’t have to get his feelings hurt. I love you ice cream. It’s not you it’s me. I know that sounds cliché, but in this particular case it’s true. This is going to work. I am excited to have this coping skill at the ready for the next ice cream offer.
Before I sign off I have to mention that Keri had a similar reaction and we were both really suffering and managed to keep each other safe from the results of a bloated gassy tummies, if you know what I mean,… BUT (HA) when we walked into the grocery store the next morning Keri saw at the sample table they were featuring fondu. She tilted her head curiously toward me as we were walking by and asked, Fondu? I simply sighed and shook my head no and she quickly came back with, Fondon’t!!! We had a good laugh and I replied, Oh that is definitely going in the blog!!!
I had a VERY cool experience the other day. There had been a bit of a stress in the morning at work, but we made it to lunch time and I intended to do a little meditation for myself and asked my friend and co-worker if she’d like to join me. She was totally open to it. So, I offered to do a guided meditation.
She sat with me and I opened myself up to divine guidance, as I have never led a guided meditation before. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I kinda thought how difficult could this be? I have listened to guided meditation many times before, so I gave it a whirl.
We sat on the floor legs crossed, facing each other and we began with focusing on breathing. I guided her to become aware of a place in her body that she could feel stress and asked her to take a deep breath. I instructed her to attach her breath to the stress she felt in her body and when she released that breath the stress was going to leave her body with the breath. I actually watched as she took a deep breath in and I watched her release that breath and observed her shoulders lower. I was observing the burden of stress melting away. It was really cool.
I have to admit it was not the best or smoothest meditation ever, but it was my very first time, so I have to give myself credit for trying and actually assisting my friend in achieving a sense of peace. Afterwards, she actually said, Ok, I think I’m ready for round two.
I would definitely do this again.
Really? Really produce lady? You’re going to stand there spouting off to some customer about your thoughts on murder while handing my future food. I’ll thank you kindly to stop putting your negative energy into my sensitive unsuspecting produce.
I do not understand why some people want to dwell on things that make them feel awful. Why? Why? WHY do you want to stand around talking about murder or watch videos of children or animals being abused? That does not make any sense to me. It does not make me feel good and I do not understand this line of thinking or living at all. Although if you asked Keri she might say I was not truth telling. She claims, if I were left alone, she’d come home to find me watching some sad documentary about starving children in Africa.
Well, most of those documentaries show growth and positive change. Or at least provide an opportunity for someone to do something to make a positive change in someones life. I think those stories provide an opportunity for hope.
Maybe there’s hope that the produce lady wasn’t really spouting off a bunch of negativity. Maybe she was pleading a case for someone that that didn’t murder someone. All I know is I know is I heard her say murder, twice. It just kinda shocked me. You are forgiven produce lady. Be well.
I went on a walk this weekend with my puppy, Waffles. He’s my 11 year old golden retriever puppy. He is a very and sweet mellow boy in most situations, until the prospect of food is introduced. This particular walk was a treatless walk, so he was pretty chill.
The thing I noticed on this walk is that I was pretty chill too, maybe because I meditated several times today and wrote a blog about meditation. I have listened to several hours of tibetan monks chanting, it is such a nice escape from the hustle and bustle of the every day american life style. I love it!!!!
On our walk, as Waffles and I were waiting for the cross walk signal to change I kinda slipped into a mediative state for about 30 seconds. The reason I became aware of this stillness within me is because, as I was standing there not really thinking about anything and holding a distant stare, a bus came driving by and as the focus of my stare did not really change I became aware that I could see a reflection of myself in the windows of the bus as it drove by. Usually, I would have been focusing on the people inside the bus and reflecting on times that I rode the bus, but instead today I stood there and looked at myself. It was an interesting moment of reflection.
The cross walk signal changed and we crossed the street. I was still thinking about seeing an image of myself when I saw another image of myself. The headlights of a car coming towards me from behind cast a shadow of my body, shoulders up on an orange reflective street sign. I saw the shape of my head and the little curls of my hair that are getting long enough to be seen in a shadow. I wanted to try and recapture the moment. I paused and looked back. The car had already passed and a quick thought shot through my mind, Some moments are meant to be experienced and not captured, that is a Keri quote right there, so I let it go.
I continued on my way home and felt the wind blowing my hair. I thought to myself, wow my hair is long enough to blow around in the wind. I already knew this because I had experienced the frustration of it a few days ago as I walked from my car to my office, but today,… I enjoyed it.
Meditation today served as a receipt. I had my receipt for my frustrating experience and I exchanged it for an enjoyable one. Nice.
I am really very open to spiritual guidance. I believe that there is a whole lot more that we don’t understand than what we can wrap our little human brains around and I am open to being able to get messages from anything that is pure positive energy. I believe in communication with spirits, animals and beings over space and time. I believe in energy.
I believe in reincarnation as well. Keri and I once met a lady named Diana that had been to Brazil to meet John of God. In Diana’s meeting with John of God, she believes she was given the gift of being able to speak with the star people (I’ve not met the star people, nor have I heard of them anywhere else before or since, but as I said before I believe there is far more that we do not know about than what we do know).
When we were visiting with Diana towards the end of our visit she asked me for permission to enter my realm of energy. I allowed it and she held out one hand towards me, all fingers in a relaxed openness pointing towards me. Her thumb was pointing up towards the ceiling and her whole fore arm was kinda of doing a little shimmy back and forth. Her other hand hand was up in the air above her head as if she were some kind of antenna or conduit of energy from me to some outer realm. She began to sing a song of words that I did understand and I am assuming when she spoke words that I did not understand that she was communicating with the star people right there in our presence. She told me this was my third lifetime with Keri. The first time we were together, was during a time of survival, like cave man days, the next time we were together was during pioneer times. I was a farmer and Keri was my wife. We had children. This time is our 3rd time together.
No money was exchanged and we did not go to meet Diana for any type of reading or counsel. We went to her home in Banks Oregon because we were interested at the time in buying a house a little further out of town with a little bit of property. We saw a flyer on the New Season’s bulletin board, so we went. It was a very interesting meeting. We liked the property, but it wasn’t in our price range.
I believe life have challenges and during these challenging times we learn a great deal. I also believe we can chose happiness. I’d much rather be happy and I will search far and wide, delve deep into a practice of something new to achieve the next level of happiness. I just want to feel happy and be happy. I think it is SUPER FUCKIN’ cool that Keri and I have been together before. Whether it is true or not, I have no idea or proof, but there was absolutely no reason for Diana to make it up. It would not benefit her at all to fabricate such a story, so I just choose to believe it. It adds character to our relationship and it’s fun to think about being that into each other that we would find each other three times and then choose to be together.
When you practice well-being through meditation you learn how to create your own well being. You are the source of out pouring of love that is being sent out into the world. You have the power to take a deep breath or maybe two or three to create inner poise and calmly guide yourself to a place of peace and tranquility. You can meditate, even if only for a moment. You could have two or three single moments and build upon that to create a good foundation of peace. You have the power. You know how to do it. Start with one deep breath,… After that if you have time for two go ahead and take two.
If you don’t know how to do it, start with this: Find a moment in which you can choose to press the pause button on your life. I did it the other day when I was getting ready to put on my shoes. I was sitting on the bottom step of our stairs in the entry way of our house. This is where I usually sit to put on my shoes and I thought I wish I had time to meditate this morning and that is when I heard the subtle little whisper say, Take a moment now.
So, I reached for my phone and I set a timer for two minutes. I closed my eyes and placed my trust in my handy device, without making any extra effort to breathe deeply, I sat there on that bottom step, eyes closed and placed my focus on my breath. My mind did drift a few times, wondering how much time had passed, but my inner calm reminded me that I was simply taking 2 minutes to create more peace within myself and the timer on my phone had never let me down before, so let all your thoughts melt away. These are your two minutes of purposely created peaceful bliss.
It is amazing to me how two minutes of peace feels. If you have never tried meditation, I strongly encourage you to try, not only just for the sense of peace it can immediately provide, but also for the myriad of other health benefits available. So, simple and all right there within your very own brain. The proverbial “they” were not kidding when they said the brain is a very powerful tool. Clink on this link and give it a try.
You may or may not believe this, but what I am about to tell you is an honest account of my experience. Since we started juicing and eating cleaner I have noticed the few times I’ve slipped into eating something not so clean, such as fried tortilla chips, cheddar covered french fries and pizza, that those not so clean foods really have a strong affect on my body. My taste buds don’t really like for me to acknowledge these things, but the whole fuckin’ rest of my body is doing back flips and cart wheels.
Here’s the thing, when I eat clean (meaning fresh, no preservatives and unprocessed) foods I feel so. much. better. What do I mean by better? I’ll tell you exactly what I mean by better. I have more energy. My body is more flexible. I feel lighter. My thought processes are clearer. I feel younger. My body feels tighter, I love the way my body feels tighter. You may be asking yourself how can eating these, “so-called” cleaner foods have that big of an affect on your body? It’s actually noticeable? Really? To that my friend I say, YES! YES, it is noticeable.
When I take in foods that are simple like a fresh salads, fresh juices, vegetable soups, and nut or bean based patties/burgers my body has less work to do to process those foods and get the nutrients and vitamins it needs to function. When I eat fried foods or processed foods, rich with preservatives and indigestibles it takes more energy for my body to process those foods and though my body is working harder it is finding less nutrients and vitamins available in those processed foods. In fact, not only is my body working harder to come up with less, it is also having to try and figure out what to do with all those preservatives and indigestibles, causing pain, swelling, and rashes.
If this were your fine driving automobile would you fill the tank with poor dirty fuel? Your nice looking sexy vehicle would sputter and painfully chug along with less than optimal preforming results. I can already hear you saying it, NO way!!! How many cars will you have in your life time? Me? I’m only 44 and I’ve already had 6! 6 cars and I can buy more cars. How many bodies have I had? ONLY ONE!
Guess what kind of fuel I will be opting to use for this ONE body that I have been so graciously given. I’m not saying that I am perfect and I will ALWAYS choose the best options available, but I can guarantee I will be making mindful choices for sure.
Well, nobody asked me, but here’s my opinion. I think relationships are very important. I’m not just talking about our relationships with our spouses/significant others/partners/boy/girl friends. I’m talking about our relationships with ourselves, our relationships with whatever we choose to call our higher power. Personally, I’m cool with Universal Source, Ultimate Creative Source, the Divine, God, or Buddha and probably other names too that I just haven’t heard yet.
I believe that the human/spirit relationship can be described or visualized like a wagon wheel. The human race is the outer wheel and all the little wooden spokes are different religions and/or beliefs and all those different spokes lead to the center or the HUB. The spokes lead to one entity and that entity doesn’t really give a shit what you call it or how you get to it. That entity is way bigger than us and isn’t really hung up on words or names. That single entity really only cares about feelings. Our feelings of happiness and our feelings of love. You could call that hub entity Banana Head and Banana Head would just give you a loving smile.
If you have children or animals that you refer to as your children, you know what I mean. You don’t care if your kids call you mommy or Barbara Sue, do you? No! You just love them. You don’t care if your puppy doesn’t say your name at all. You just love him. I’d like to purpose a thought here. Consider how much you love your children or your animals or your parents or any being that is very dear to you and consider how limited we are as human in comparison to THE divine entity. Think for a moment and see if you can come up with something that your child or loved one could do that would stop you from loving them. You love them so much you would forgive anything they did or said, right? Can you imagine not allowing them into your house because they did or said something that was considered a sin? Do you think an entity such as God or Universal Source would have more limited feelings than a human?
I believe that we are all children of one spiritual entity and I do not believe for a single second that I would turn Garrison away and not let him into my house because of a bad choice he made. I will always love him and I believe that the one spiritual entity has a much greater capacity for love and forgiveness than silly little ole me. I don’t judge others for beliefs that differ from mine, but I do hope that whatever anyone else believes that they have peace and love within them to live happy lives.
My belief is that we all be reunited at one point or another and that it is in a realm of consciousness that is beyond anything that our human selves are even able to comprehend. I am here to love, live, grow and have a blast. I believe that is why we are here.