I think it is time for me to tell you what I believe. You may be thinking isn’t that what you’ve been doing all along? Well, maybe it is what I’ve been doing all along, but I want to be crystal clear. I am in my 11th month of writing this blog and it occured to me today that someone may want to know why? Why do I spend the majority of my time thinking about this blog? Thinking, writing, drawing and talking about Apozitude. Why? Well, I’ll tell you why.
I spend my time doing this because I believe that in doing so I will change someones’ life. Is it possible that if I bear my heart and soul on this screen writing about my biggest challenges and my greatest victories that I might be able to have a positive affect on someones’ life? The undeniable answer is YES! The reason I am so certain about this is because I AM the someone whos’ life has been changed.
Since I have been writing this blog I have changed tremendously. I used to live my life for others. I didn’t truely know who I was because I lost myself in doing what I thought would make other people happy. The writing of this blog has caused me to ask questions of myself that have brought clarity to my life. I didn’t really realize how truely lucky I was in my life. I have the most amazing people in my life. My wife, who supports me in my quest to discover me. My mom who has provided unwavering love and faith in me. My friends who challenge me and push me to be the best me I can be. Honestly though, all of these things can be said of all of these people in my life. I am one lucky chick!!!
When I told my son about the vision I had for my life he said to me, “If there is anyone out there in the world like me, I believe you will make a great motivational speaker”. He said that to me when he was about 14. I had just spoken to him about building a solid foundation to live the rest of his life upon. More recently when I started this blog, I told him this was the next step in the rest of my dream being fulfilled and he said, “I’ll be watching”. I responded, “I’m counting on it”.
I gotta say I believe the positive affects of this blog are further reaching than just myself, and that is definitely a bonus, but I love writing and really I write for myself. I actually have been writing all my life. I wrote my first poem at age seven, and I’ve always kept some sort of journal or diary. However, the bonus of writing this blog is that it positively affects others, and I believe with all my being that is my purpose. The reason I decided to walk this earth was to show people that they have a choice. I know this is my purpose, because not only have I written about it 5 days a week for the last 11 months, but I live it everyday of my life.
Wanna play pretend a little bit? C’mon it’ll be fun. Oh goodie, I knew you’d wanna play. OK, pretend to close your eyes and picture this in your mind as your eyes flow over the words. Picture a pristine blue sky with the perfect contrast of a green rolling grassy hillside. The hill is sparsely dotted with fruit trees and moderately dotted with wild flowers. Meadering along the base of this rich grassy hill is a wide dirt road. Beautiful, isn’t it? So peacful. There’s probably even a small babbling brook running along side the road.
Ok, now pretend on that dirt road you see a horse pulling a wooden wagon with big wooden wheels with a pioneer looking farmer at the reins. If you pay close attention you can hear the rhythm of thuds the horses’ hooves are making against the dirt and the tiny little squeak’s the wheels and wood are making as it is being pulled by the horse. I can even see the dark worn leather of the man’s boots and hear the beautiful squeak of the leather harness and reins. Can you hear the trickle of the brook? Doesn’t imagining all of those details of such a simple thing totally whisk you away?
As I laid out the details for you to imagine, didn’t you totally forget about your to do list? That was just an added bonus, because my original point was to have you visualize the man holding a carrot out in front of the horse. Why? To prove a point and in the fun of describing what I wanted you to picture I got us a two for one deal.
The original plan was to create an image in your mind of a man and a horse on a path. The horse doesn’t really know where they are headed, but he is focused on that carrot because getting that carrot is what makes him happy. He just keeps his focus on what makes him happy and he places all of his trust in guidance he receives from the man. He knows he will get a carrot, and until he does he maintains that focus.
This is what we have to do, you see. We know what we want, and we don’t know exactly how we’re going to get there. As we maintain our focus upon the things that make us happy, the path to our destination will be revealed as we round each corner.
The bonus was learning about following your bliss, and that is what I was doing in describing the hillside. This is exactly why writing is so fun for me because it’s kinda like painting, but with words and in writing, I feel I can reach a broader audience with deeper meaning than I ever achieved with my paintings. Positively affecting others lives is my purpose. I am living my purpose and I am LOVING it. It is so fulfilling. I haven’t made one red cent on this blog in the last year and that never was my intention anyway, but I have never felt more abundance in my life. Thank you Apozitude.
When you are living in the realm of high vibrations everything is an opportunity. A conversation with a friend, looking at a painting, taking a shower, listening to music, laying in the sun, getting let go from a job and anything else, really everything else. Everything leads to something else and it all depends on your perception and how you choose to live. Deliberately or accidentally?
When you chose to live deliberately, and are mindful of feeling good, no matter what you are doing, saying, experiencing or reading, you are in the realm of high vibrations and everything is golden. All the right people cross your path at just the right time. All the answers to all your questions just pop right into your head. It’s like you’re walking on sunshine and every snap of your fingers seemingly drops the perfect piece of your puzzle right out of the sky and lands in the perfect place.
You don’t have to believe me, but you are welcome to observe the reality of this truth in my life. When you are ready you will choose to live deliberately.
I have to ask you a question, and you have permission to answer however you’d like. I don’t even need to know your answer. This question really is for you. Have you ever, in your life, walked into an unfamiliar room or building and asked yourself, “Hey where’s the dark switch”? Just think about that for a minute.
Now, I don’t know for certain, because some of you are pretty persnickety, but I am willing to bet my clarity that not one of you has asked where the dark switch was. EVEN if you wanted it to be dark, you still look for the light switch, right? Ok, so what’s the point Zamudio?
The point is we are always searching for the light. We don’t stand in a dark room and pout, so why would we stand in a dark mood and pout? Be your own light switch.
Man oh man!!! The song Cherish, by Kool and the Gang sure does take me back to a much more confusing time in my life. All I have to say is, Whew!!!! I am glad, oh so glad to be in the clarity of the now. 1985 was a totally lost time for me. I had no idea who I was or how I would ever be able to live a happy life. All I ever wanted was to be able to love who I loved.
Cherish the love, cherish the life. I guess I sang it enough back then that I finally got it, because I sure do cherish all the wonderful things in my life. I know I’ve referenced this song in a past blog, but it is just so perfect for this time in my life.
Do you know why? Well, I will tell you. It’s because I got all the good stuff flowing to me right now. I have NEVER been so happy in all my life.
All it is, plain and simple, is paying attention to how I feel. I care so much about being happy that if something displeasing enters my realm of consciousness I simply divert my attention away fom the displeasing thing. I have no control and I mean absolutely zero control over anything outside of myself. The one and only thing I can control is me, my reactions, my emotions and my sense of peace and happiness. Therefore, I will do everything in my power to ensure that I am happy.
A couple weeks ago I launched into a rampage of appreciation because I realized I now have 4 days out of the week (that’s the majority) that I have the freedom to get up and live my dream. I don’t have to be into my part time job as a office manager in a dental office until 10am on Wednesdays now, due to a change in our schedule. Therefore, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday I can get up and live my dream as a writer and blossoming inspirational speaker.
This realization was another beginning point in the unfolding of my dream coming true. Little by little my true path is rising to the surface of my reality. The more I feel it happening the more I see it happening. I have been flying high and in such a great mood that I believe I can be, do and have anything I desire. My life just keeps getting better and better, and the reason I am writing about it is because I’d like to share this awesomeness with as many people as possible.
Doesn’t it make sense that if you have found a way to be happy and live your life in a way that you’ve always dreamed, that you’d share that amazing discovery with everyone you knew? Wouldn’t you want everyone around you to be feeling this love for life too. The only thing is, everyone has free will and the freedom to make their own choice, so even though people know about a way to make a better way for themselves, they may not choose to put forth the effort.
In the past I found it difficult to understand why someone would go about life a hard way when an easier way was viable. I am beginning to understand that it simply does not matter why someone else goes about life the hard way. It doesn’t matter because there is nothing I can do to change the way someone else lives their life. The ONLY thing I can do is LIVE MY LIFE the way I want to and that is with a smile on my face and joy in my heart regardless of the external circumstances. I choose to focus on the positive and that creates more positive. Everything is always working out.
A friend of mine sent me an e-mail the other day that read, Angel Zamudio how’s your moodio? All I could think to reply was, Fabudio. So, in a nut shell, Angel Zamudio is in a fabudio moodio. HA HA HA HA HA
Maybe Angel Zamudio IS a nut, not IN a nut shell. Oh well, I am having a grand ole time so, who cares.
I kinda have a funny way of listening to songs. I only pay attention to the lyrics that I like. I could be listening to a very sad break up song and all I hear is the “how much I love you” parts. I don’t even pay attention to the “you’re gonna miss my love” parts.
Sometimes the way I sing love songs or think about them is very different than what they are intended, but I like the way I take a Richard Marx song and turn it into a spiritual awakening. The song Hold On To The Nights is very powerful to me, because when he sings the line, “I am helplessly aware that the person I’ve been searching for is right there”, in my mind I am singing to a reflection of myself in the mirror.
It kinda seems like this may be perceived as a little self absorbed to sing to myself that I am the person I’ve always been looking for, but really it’s not. I mean aren’t we all on an endless journey of self discovery? Every time we grow or expand our awareness and our point of attraction changes. So, really, it only makes sense, that the person you are always searching for is right there in the mirror.
You’re the one that has all the right answers for yourself anyway. Who else is going to know better what feels right for you? Only you. Start asking yourself some questions and be easy with yourself if you don’t know the answers yet. Focus on something fun and all of your answers will be revealed. Soon you’ll realize that everything is always working out.
There is a desire that keeps popping up all throughout history and that desire is to have a time machine. People always want to go back to something that was amazing for them and relive it again or they want to jump into the future and live in a moment they are conjuring up in their minds. Then there’s the idea of going back in time and righting a perceived wrong. It’s all kinda convoluted really, because none of this is possible. Really though, if you think about it, our imagination is kinda like a time machine, don’t you think?
I know that for me there are certain songs that can totally transport me to a moment in the past, but you know what? There really is no going back. You can relive a moment in your life in your mind, but nothing is more real than this red hot minute. There is absolutely nothing you can do to bring the past to your present. Things have changed. You have changed. If you took your right now self back in time it would not be the same because your perspective has changed. You cannot make up for lost time. You cannot force bonding or meaning into something new that doesn’t have experience to support the feelings of a bond or meaning. I cannot imagine my past and fill it with siblings, but what I can do is focus my attention on my here and now upon the relationships that feel like siblings in my now. I am so grateful for my relationships with cousins and friends that feel like what I imagine having a sibling would feel like.
I am grateful for the love I have in my life. I am pleased with my relationships. I am happy to be me and I feel like I have finally come to terms with the circumstances of my life and I am happy, really happy with what I have and I am eager for more happy moments to unravel. I love my peaceful moments. I love my quiet time with myself. I love my writing time, drawing time, creative time, social time, laughing time, working time, all the sweet special moments with my adorable wife, tender moments with my dog, conversations with my best friend, cuddle time with babies, laughing with my mom, sharing life experiences with my son and the deliciousness just keeps unfolding.
When we were at the beach a couple weekends ago, there was a family with two dogs staying in the house next to ours. Every morning we were there we would watch the people take one dog at a time and tether them to two different stakes in the ground. They had plenty of room on the tie downs to walk around and find sunny or shady places in the yard to lay down. Neither of our yards had any fence, so when we were outside with Waffles these two dogs could see us and would begin barking.
We observed right away that when the dogs began barking, their people would come out and take them in if they were being persistant with their barking. One time we were in the house and obseved the dogs. We watched as the dogs began to bark when people were walking by to get down to the beach. We saw the dogs bark several times and then they would stop for a moment and turn their heads and look towards the house, wait for a moment and if nobody showed up they’d turn their focus back to the walkers and begin barking again. Repeatedly, they would go through this routine of barking and checking to see if someone was coming out to let them in.
Until, they didn’t have to anymore because eventually, it worked. Keri and I smiled at each other and she said to me, “Who’s trained who here?”