Monthly Archives: July 2015

This was just a Test

     I received a Tweet over the weekend that the Caitlyn Jenner show, I AM CAIT was starting Sunday July 26th. I am very happy to be living in such a wonderful time when acceptance is on such a rise. As I was scrolling through all the wonderful Tweets of acceptance and enthusiasm for Cait and her journey, I stumbled across a really cool bit of news regarding Caitlyn Jenner and Siri and I had to test it out for myself. See the results below.  

 
     In my mind, regarding Bruce vs Caitlyn, the switch was similar to the switch Siri made. Instant!       

Can I get an Amen?

     I think life is an amazing thing. Chance encounters can be just that chance encounters or they be have a profound affect on us. 

     I encountered a woman over the weekend who was wearing a bracelet that I liked and I mentioned it to her. She thanked me and added that she had recently received the bracelet from her sister who had just returned from a trip to France. I thought it was a thoughtful gesture of her sister and as she was holding up her wrist, so I could get a closer look at her bracelet, I commented to her, “These kind of look like prayer beads. Do you know if they are?” 

     She said, “Yes, they are prayer beads. My sister bought this for me from her favorite church there in France and it’s funny you should mention this because I am trying to pray more. I’m not doing so great so far. I prayed one day this week.” The judgement she placed on herself got me thinking,… 

     What is prayer anyway? What’s the meaning of prayer? So, I looked it up. Prayer is defined as a solemn request for help or expression of thanks addressed to God or an object of worship. Solemn is define as being characterized by deep sincerity.
     Given this definition, I think people may “pray” more than they think they do. I don’t think it has to be so formal. Personally, I like my relationship with God (or as I choose to reference my greater power, Ultimate Source) to be a little more casual. It feels friendlier to me. Less formal seems like more of an everyday kind of relationship and I like it that way.       

alt, shift, control

     One of life’s toughest lessons is the cold hard fact that we have no control over others. We can attempt to influence other’s and we can drive ourselves crazy trying to get others to behave in a manner that would be pleasing to us, but at some point we have to stop and consider if our sanity is worth the effort.

     The bottom line is we have one life to live and time goes by so fast, Do you want to spend another year of your life torturing yourself trying to change the behavior of one person when there is so much more available? The only person any of have any control over is ourselves. This is where we could really make a difference in our lives. 

     Imagine for a moment the amount of energy we sometimes spend on others, wanting them to change, wanting them to react differently, wanting them to meet our needs. That’s a ton of energy. 

     Now imagine pouring that energy into yourself. Changing your reaction to them. Setting a boundary. Start loving yourself. Bonnie Raitt had it right all along, I can’t make you love me if you don’t, but I sure can decide to start loving myself. I sure can decide I am worthy of the energy I have been spending on others. 

     Change your mind and change your life.       

      

Wi-No Wi-Fi?

     I stepped into a local bakery downtown last week. My intention was to buy a cup of coffee, a croissant and sit down with my iPad to do some writing for this weeks blog. I purchased my croissant and inquired about their wi-fi. The gal behind the counter said, “We don’t have wi-fi. I’m sorry. I know it’s weird, we’re probably the only coffee shop in all of Portland that doesn’t have wi-fi. Is that okay? I mean I don’t really know what to say. I don’t really know how to answer that question. Will you be ok?” 

     I smiled at her calmly and said, “I’ll be fine. I’ll just need to go somewhere else, but I’d still like that croissant. I’ll just need to take it to go.” She apologized again and was noticabley uncomfortable with the status of the Wi-fi situation. In an effort comfort her I said, “Don’t worry about it. It is what it is.” 

     Perhaps they’re a hold out business on wi-fi. Perhaps they’re taking a stand against wi-fi to promote conversation amongst their patrons. Who know’s?      

       

Understanging Goes a LONG Way

     I learned something about myself this last week. It’s always fun to learn a little bit more about myself. Actually, the thing I learned about myself, I already knew, but what happened was I came to a new level of understanding. I believe understanding provides a sense of calm and peace. 

     I took a personality test at work and discovered of the four personality styles: driver, analyzer, influencer and stabilizer, I am primarily,… anyone want to guess??? Well, since I don’t actually have super human powers and can’t hear your guess, I’ll just assume you’re right. I’m primarily an influencer and my secondary style is stabilizer.

     It totally makes sense, don’t you think? Here is a break down of each personality type. I’m sharing it here because I believe awareness is a HUGE piece of personal break throughs. Check it out. See what you think might apply to you and those in your inner circle. Perhaps a little understanding of others will provide you with a sense of calm and peace.   

 

   

Here are my results.

Free to Choose

     It’s an amazing time to be alive and I’ll tell you why. There was a time in my life when I felt small and I felt like I was all alone. I was lost, confused and hurting. I got so tired of feeling so insignificant that I decided to make a change. I decided to step out of what I thought was a safe place, a place of security. Like I said, I was confused, because I thought living the life “I was supposed to live” would provide safety and security, but that facade came with a price tag I wasn’t willing pay any longer. 

     The safety of living a straight life married to a man, safe from the judgement of society was costing me my true path, my happiness and denying myself the one and only thing I really have, ME. Don’t get me wrong the decision was very difficult and I didn’t do it all on my own. I asked for help and it took me a while to truly break free, but I am here today to tell you that there is nothing better than living your life on your true path.

     Free of obligation. Free of guilt. Free of burden. Free of pain. I made a choice to improve my life and I just kept making that decision to improve my situation until now I live a life where my days are filled with blessings and miracles. I see happiness. I see beauty. I see love. I see acceptance. I make a choice and you can too.   

 

Where to Draw the Line

     Sometimes, acceptance is expressed by speaking out against ignorance in hopes of making a change.

     Sometimes, acceptance is silently observing something in which you disagree and allowing it to be. 
     Only you can decide where to draw the line between being an advocate and simply BE-ing. My advice trust your moral compass.   
 

Grateful for Allies

     There have been some huge leaps in societal growth in the last couple weeks. Same sex marriage became legal in all 50 of the Untied States of America. WOW!!! Caitlyn Jenner received the Espy Award of Courage. WOW!!!

     As these bits of news came out (no pun intended) and I had the luxury of being able to observe how people responded via social media, I noticed the majority of people were supportive. Which shouldn’t be surprising to me since I’ve been reading in the news and seeing signs all around that acceptance of GLBT people is on the rise, however I did find myself feeling overwhelmed with joy to see just how many people were advocating for equality. 
  

    There’s no doubt we have miles to go yet before we are able to drop the clarifying prefix “same-sex” relating to marriage, but the fact that marriage equality for all is now federally recognized in the U.S. is a huge step. Caitlyn Jenner being acknowledged for her courage by ESPN? That’s amazing to me. I’m so over joyed to hear the respect for her growing by leaps and bounds. Every time she’s acknowledged for the woman she has always been, but has felt she’s had to keep a secret, acceptance grows.

     If you’ve never experienced the feelings associated with being a minority, I’m sure it’s very difficult to imagine how amazing it feels to be recognized and as an equal, but I am here to tell you it is life affirming. 

     Seeing my straight friends taking stands and speaking out against ignorance is so heartwarming and very much appreciated. Perhaps there’s an inkling of hope living inside me that believes the possibility exists that in my lifetime the idea of being GLBT is a choice will shrivel up and die. 

     To all of those who choose to stand up and shine a light on ignorance when you could sit in silence, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. It’s so comforting to know we are all in this together.   

 

The Joy of Adult Children

     Our son, Garrison, is here visiting for several weeks. I have to say I have always enjoyed his company, but this time around it’s different. Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m enjoying his company this time as well, but the thing that’s different is he is more present. I never felt like he hung around us out of a sense of obligation, but there was a sense of restlessness in the past. Like he was just waiting for the right amount of time spent, so he would feel comfortable running off with his friends, which I totally understood and never faulted him or made him feel guilty. 

     That is what is different this time. He’s around more and seems interested in hanging out with us. He’s actively participating in conversation and offering up information without us having to question him. It’s really rather enjoyable.Thank you for willingly sharing yourself with us Garrison. We love you.