Monthly Archives: September 2015

Honesty

Forgive me Facebook friends of Apozitude. I’m writing a blog based on the intro I wrote to a blog I posted last week, but I really liked it and I thought it needed to be expanded upon a bit further. By all means you don’t have to physically do this exercise. You’re certainly welcome to simply visualize this, but if you think physically doing it would be more powerful for you, you go right on ahead and do it. So, here we go.
      Raise your hand if you’ve ever had a bad day. Keep your hand up or raise it again if you ever wanted to escape a situation. I know this seems silly, but stick with me here. Ok, raise your hand if you ever wanted someone to sweep you away from it all.  

 
      Wait a minute. Hold the show. I have to switch gears here folks, because I have to be honest with you. If I were reading this blog right now, I’d have my hand in the air. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out lately. Honestly, I’m having a difficult time figuring out how to transition the beginning of this blog into something of value for you all. 
     Somehow I get the feeling that the most value would come from me being completely honest. Right now, this very second that I am typing out these words, I don’t have a positive attitude. I’m exhausted and I’ve struggled through my day today. 
     BUT!!!! Tomorrow is another day and I’ll get up tomorrow and try again. For now I’m going to spend a couple minutes focusing on what made me smile today. A text message from my wife of our puppy playing at the park. A picture of my little goodness playing in the swimming pool at her Auntie Shell’s house. A hug from my best friend. My puppy coming home from his best friend’s birthday celebration and the unbending unending love and support from my wife. Thank you all for your positive contributions to my life. I’m grateful.   

       

My 2 cents

 

In a world where there are so many mixed messages, I’d like to share a bit of my perspective on a seemingly confusing concept. The concept of being selfish.     
     Selfish is defined as lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure. 
     Let’s go over this for a minute. If you are a person who has obligations and or responsibilities in your life, which you are, whether those obligations or responsibilities are to a family member, a friend or an employer, to be able to meet those responsibilities you have to have a certain level of selfishness. Right? I mean if you don’t take care of yourself by getting proper nourishment and rest, you wouldn’t be able to meet the needs of others. 
     Dose this make sense? Is it selfish of me to put myself first? I don’t think so, because the better care I take of myself the more valuable I am to others. I want to be the very best I can be for my wife, my son, my friends, my mom and well anyone I may encounter. 
     How do I put my best self forward? I take time to care for myself, so I feel my best. I get plenty of rest. I eat well. I tend to my emotions and my spirit. I draw boundaries that support my overall well being. I have to put myself first in order to be the best I can be for myself and everyone in my life. 
     Don’t get me wrong, I understand there’s a level of selfishness that doesn’t align with this way of thinking. I’m aware there are people that are “out for themselves” and to be completely honest my way of dealing with that situation when it presents itself is to shift my focus. 
     When I see something I don’t like, there’s always the option to turn my head, close my eyes or walk away. If that doesn’t seem like an option to you in certain situations, you always have the option to change your point of focus. You are the one in control of your thoughts and there’s nothing any one can say or do about where you are in your mind. 
    It always makes me chuckle a little to myself when I hear someone say, “Don’t you dare even think about it,…” Oh yeah??? and what are you going to do if I do think about? How can you even prove that I did think about it? You can’t!!! So there!!! Nanny nanny boo boo!  


 
     

How’s that for mature and wise??? Kung Fu isn’t always the best answer, sometimes you just gotta get a little kindergartener on someones ass.         

Be Your Own Super HERO

 

Do yourself a little favor today, look at yourself in the mirror and have this conversation with yourself out loud. Here’s a little tip, when I had this conversation with myself about two minutes ago, I was standing about 5 inches away from the mirror and I was starring myself right square in the eye. I was pointing at my reflection and really giving myself a strong talk. Take it or leave it what ever feels best for you. 
     Begin with a few slow deep intentional breaths. Once you feel really connected to yourself say these words, “Right this very minute, you have the power. Right there in your mind. You have the power to be in control. You have the power to decide how your day will go. You have the power to let things go or let the stress of worry eat you alive. What feels better? Well guess what? You get to decide. Your mind is a very powerful tool. Use that powerful tool every minute of every day to your advantage. When you give in and allow your mind to constantly create worry, your mind is using you. Don’t be a tool. Be the brave and skillful person you were placed here to be. Starting today, use the greatest power tool ever created, your mind. Your mind can set you free. Now get out there and be your own super hero.” 
     Yes, people that’s right. You have the power to be your own super hero. All you have to do is step up and rescue yourself from the torture you allow your mind to put you through. 

Start today!  

 

Welcome to Better

When you choose acceptance as the current phase of your life, you’ll very quickly realize what a wonderful place living in the state of acceptance can be. 
      You’ll grow to like it more and more and you’ll find yourself beginning to let go of situations/people and even your own thoughts that don’t align or support the amazing feeling of acceptance in your life.
     Like anything else if life, acceptance will be an ebb and flow process, so please remember to be gentle with yourself when you find yourself being human and slipping into anything less. The good news is, you know how to get yourself into the good feelings part of life, so you can get yourself there again and as you find your way back to good feelings you’ll begin to raise your expectations. 
     You’ll find, better is better and you’ll begin to expect nothing less. 
     You are on your way.  

 

Uniquely YOU 

     There is one lesson in my life that I am constantly tweaking and I’m not sure why, but it seems to be a reoccurring thing in many peoples lives. I’ll use a quote from one of the preeminent spiritual teachers of the 20th century to make this point. 
“No one else has a personality just like yours.

No one else has a face like yours.

No one else has a soul like yours.

You are a unique creation of God.” – Paramahansa Yogananda
     There’s no one exactly like me. That means I am TOTALLY FREE to be ME. You are TOTALLY FREE to be you. Do you know what this means? This means, we never ever have to ask permission from anyone else to be ourselves.

     Simply BE and be happy while you’re at it.  

 

DIY: Getting a YES

Here’s a friendly little Apozitude reminder: There will be times in life when you are doing your best to achieve results in any number of areas in life. You may be studying really hard in school, or really putting in the hours on a project at work and you’re feeling really good about your efforts. You feel so good and happy with your progress, you decide to invite someone to join you.

You’re thinking, “Wow, a study group would be really be amazing, or a work team could really get this job done more efficiently. We could encourage each other and really get some good momentum going. We could achieve great results together,…”,

So, you decide to invite someone to join you in your efforts for support and camaraderie, but the person you ask says no,…

(Here comes the reminder) It will be hard to hear them say no or not right now, because you’re SO EXCITED about the results you’re receiving. Please remember those rejections are not, I repeat NOT a rejection of you. Plain and simple, it’s somebody else saying no to them selves.

You’re saying yes to yourself. You are putting in the effort. Studying, working, training hard. Your “YES” to you is the most valuable yes on the planet. When you say yes to yourself it builds your confidence. You know it does because you feel so good about the things you’ve accomplished.

Be proud of the effort you put into you and that feeling of pride will be like a magnet. People will see you walking around so happy with yourself and what you’ve accomplished for yourself they’ll naturally be drawn to you. They will see your accomplishments and want a piece of whatever it is that you have in your life.

Remember to hold your focus on the most valuable yes in life. The “YES!!!” you say to yourself everyday you choose to study hard, put in the extra effort and push yourself that extra inch. That yes, has the power to erase ANY OTHER answer from anyone else!

You got this!!! Now get out there and just keep saying yes to yourself. Trust me, all the right people and situations will magically fall right into place when you focus on saying yes to yourself. 

 

what’s your theme?

The current theme of my life is balance. I seem to go through phases and this is probably true for everyone. See if you recognize any of these phases in your life.
There’s the resistance phase. In this phase everything seems to go wrong. I don’t feel good or happy and I don’t like it.
Then we have the acceptance phase. This phase feels better than the resistance phase. Acceptance helps me to see things a bit clearer. I feel lighter and happier in the acceptance phase. More options become into light in the acceptance phases. 

I really like the appreciation phase. Appreciation brings solutions and happiness. 
The key to all of this is balance. Acceptance of your current situation helps reduce resistance which leads to appreciation. When you start to feel negative emotion think about a way to turn your attitude around. It feels so much better and it’s so easy. Give it try.  

 

Change is a Good Thing

     

So, I have a little announcement to make for you avid Apozitude readers. As you may or may not remember, recently I announced that I was going to be a health and fitness coach. Well, it’s official I signed up to be a BeachBody Coach and there’s quite a bit of training involved. I’m loving it. It just feels like the next logical step for me. 
     Being a health/fitness coach and encouraging others to maintain their focus, so they can achieve and maintain their health goals falls right in line with the mission of Apozitude. This blog has always been a practice for me to stay focused on the positive. In that effort and by sharing to help others to stay positive as well. 
     I’ll be keeping my position as office manager at the dental office, so you can see with the additional training and keeping a full time job, something’s gotta give. There’s only one of me, therefore I’ve decided to adjust my blog schedule. I can’t give it up. I love it too much. So, as a compromise I’ve made an agreement with myself and my wife to post 3 blogs a week rather than the 5 that you’re accustomed to receiving. 
     

     So, be on the look out and make the necessary adjustments to only be getting your Apozitude fix on Monday’s, Wednesday’s and Friday’s. This is actually an amazing opportunity to practice your Apozitude on your own for a couple days. You can look at this as a transition time, kinda moving from a tricycle to a bike with training wheels.
     Oh boy!!! What an adventure.
     This in no way is a trend, meaning, I won’t be slowly tapering off. No. Not at all. This is a temporary adjustment while I’m going through the training to be a coach. Once I have that down I’ll be returning to the regular schedule of 5 days a week. This is the result of last weeks blog where I mentioned, “sometimes you have to take a look around and decide where to draw the line”. You may have seen this coming. There it is my loyal readers. 
     Thank you so much for being interested in the process of infusing your world with an Apozitude and I’ll see you back here in your e-mail inbox on Wednesday and for those of you who simply catch a peek off Facebook, see you Wednesday too. You’re welcome to subscribe if you don’t wanna miss a single blog.    

    

Don’t Listen to Me

     You don’t need to listen to me if you already know exactly how to handle your relationship. I’m writing from my soul which in this particular moment is from a place of being married for almost 20 years. To be completely honest, we haven’t legally been married that long, there was a little matter of Equal Rights hindering the legalities of our relationship. However the truth remains that we have lived as a married couple for almost 20 years. It’s taken me a long time to realize what I’m about to share with you, but I must share the truth. 
     The truth is my wife is the better half, but wanna know what else is the truth? I’m the better half too. 
     What this means to me in my life is this: I take advice from my wife. I listen to her. Why? Because she loves me and she has my best interest at heart. 
     Do I always like what she has to say? Oh, hell no, because sometimes what she has to say means I need to make a change. Have you ever noticed how sometimes it’s so much easier for others to see clearly what it is that you need to do to make your life better? Have you ever wondered why? Whether you have or you haven’t I’m about to tell you why. 
     The reason other people can see so clearly what we need to change is because their vision of our situation isn’t clouded by emotion. The vision we have of our own lives and behaviors is littered with our emotion. It’s blurred by our mindset.
     Change begins when we listen to things we may not want to hear. Change takes place when accept responsibility for ourselves. Change happens when we decide enough is enough. 
How will you make a change for the better in your life today? 
     Me? I’m going to listen to my wife.