Monthly Archives: December 2015

Gabriel Park Realization

IMG_9701Christmas day 2015, Keri, Marbles and I went for a walk at Gabriel Park. Not an uncommon activity, we take walks everyday and all over the place. This boy of ours is such a blessing in our lives. He’s full of love, sweetness, goofiness and LOTS (did I say TONS?) of energy. He always gets 2 walks/runs a day and we get bored going to the same places every time. So, we have many favorite spots and we can take off either on foot or in the car and temper his energy. It’s great for him to get so much exercise and we do it for him, but we also do it for ourselves. It gives us a bit of peace in our home.

We are creatures of habit and I’ve noticed a pattern with us. It goes a little something like this: Keri says, “We need to get this boy on a walk”. Then there’s me,… I’m almost 100% of the time on my computer working on a blog, a drawing for a blog or research for,… guess what… you’re right if you guessed, a blog. I usually groan a little and say something like, “Ok, just let me finish this thought, paragraph or drawing”. She always complies, because she’s wonderfully supportive of me and my passions. I think I’ll keep her. 🙂

Why do I always resist the walks??? I. don’t. know….

Actually, that’s not entirely true, I do know, but the clarity to express it just occurred to me. I usually resist the walks because it feels like an interruption in my creative process. I have a full time job Monday through Thursday. I know that doesn’t sound like a lot because most people work 5 or more days a week. I’m very grateful for the time I have to dedicate to my passion. However, the current reality is that I have 3 days to be my “writer/artist/blogger creative self”. I cherish this this time, therefore I do what I can to get the most I can out of it. How do I do that? Well, I get up early on the weekends, like real early, (anywhere from 3am – 6am) to work on my blog. I do it because I LOVE it!!! It doesn’t feel like work to me, ya know? Apozitude.com is my passion and my passion is expanding. I’m very grateful for expansion.

Why am I telling you all of this? I’m telling you because I wanted to share an “Ah-Ha” moment I had on this particular walk. We were nearing the end and as we walked along the water was trickling by (one of my ALL TIME favorite sounds) I took a deep breathe and I gazed up at the trees and sky and it was in that moment it occurred to me, I LOVE these walks.

I thought to myself, we’ve been walking trails like these for 17 years and I still love it. I love the simple pleasures of these walks. I love the smell of the dirt, the feel the moss that covers the trees, the myriad of contrasting colors that nature provides, the peaceful sound of the water   mindlessly meandering by and many other wonderful things. I decided in that moment I’d let go of the resistance to the walks.

Yes, it’s true the walks interrupt my creative process, but the nourishment to my soul is worth it. I love spending time with my baby and our goofy energetic boy. To be completely honest, I find the nourishment these walks provide to my soul contributes greatly to my creative process.

Take Every Opportunity

Within the seconds of this single moment as I type out these very words, I was just scheduling a post that you may or may not have read. The post was about accepting myself as perfectly incomplete and the reason I’m sharing this with you is because I always (well mostly) select the option to preview these posts to see what they’ll look like once they post. I like to make sure the spacing is correct and is easy for your eyes to read. Really though, I can only make certain it’s easy for my eyes to read. I ain’t got your eyeballs. LOL

Anyway, the blog, Be Your Own Yaysayer, despite multiple attempts at editing and saving the draft to ensure the last sentence was properly spaced from the previous paragraph, it remains perfectly improper according to my liking. I just had to laugh and let it go, because I was beginning to feel a slight frustration and a subtle quiet voice said to me, “Take every opportunity”. So, I smiled and let it be perfectly incomplete.

Life really is easier when you let go of resistance and I’m so much happier.IMG_3115

Another Nutshell

In all the years of my life, one lesson keeps coming up and I guess it will just keep coming up until I finally learn the whole darn lesson. I feel like I get a bit of clarity here and there and with little tweaks throughout my life I feel myself getting better, but as we all have heard so many times in life.

“Happiness is not a destination, it’s a journey. Enjoy the journey.”

As long as we’re alive, there will ALWAYS be room for improvement and given this bit of clarity I just gleaned (again LOL) from writing this opening paragraph, I guess I’ll never learn the whole lesson, but I have to say I’m so grateful for what I know and the ability to accept myself for what I am. What I know today is that I’m PERFECTLY incomplete. Well, there ya’ go. That’s the lesson in a nutshell and I’ll restate it for clarity.
I’m grateful for what I know and for the ability to accept myself for what I am, perfectly incomplete.

BE Your Own Yaysayer

Screen Shot 2015-12-26 at 8.33.01 AMGiven the right amount of time, I always find a way to look at the bright side. I’m an eternal optimist.

I’ve noticed throughout my life as an eternal optimist, it can be annoying to others at times and that’s ok. I’m honing my skill of dialing down the sharing. Notice, I don’t dial down the optimism…

It’s just that sometimes I get a feeling of resistance from people who haven’t processed their feelings yet and seem to choose to live in the unrest a bit longer, I simply respect their choice and dial down the sharing of my optimistic views. I understand. There’s nothing more irritating when you’re pissed off than to hear someone else crowing on about how everything is always working out. I know, I’ve lived both sides of the situation. What I’ve learned for myself is, there’s no other option. I know how to help myself feel better and it’s just that plain and simple for me. I want to be happy and what makes me happy is looking at the bright side.

This isn’t just my silly little pollyanna attitude, there’s science behind my choice. When you are interested enough to become the creator of your own reality check out the following article, Is There Scientific Evidence for the “Law of Attraction”?

I was given one life and I’ve decided to live my life for the only person I can, and that person is me. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and I looked directly into my eyes with intention and purpose. I said aloud to myself, “I’ve got two things to say to you today.

#1 If you’re going to take the time to dream, dare to dream BIG!!

#2 There will be “nay sayers” don’t listen to them. BE your own “Yay sayer”

That’s the take away and the title for this blog.

There’s Only One You

IMG_3102For every situation there are a multitude of solutions and there is NOT ONE right answer. Or is there? The reason I ask this question is because like I mentioned before, it’s true there are numerous solutions to any given situation or problem, but there is only ONE you and there is only ONE me and as we know, what might be right for you may not be right me. Therefore, even though there may be a multitude of solutions to a problem, there likely is only ONE that feels just exactly right for you. You can’t live your life trying to resolve your problems with other people’s solutions. That’s not being true to you.

I’m not saying that we can’t grow and change by any means. I’m a big proponent of stepping outside our comfort zones and trying new things, but it has to feel right. You know when something feels off and the effort you put into a solution goes all sideways. That’s a sign that it wasn’t authentically YOU. The good news is you can take that misstep and turn it into an opportunity to learn about yourself and know yourself a little bit better.

You’re an amazing person. You have all the right stuff to get to the resolution that feels right to you. The secret is stepping away from the emotions of the problem and focus on the facts. When your mind is cluttered with emotion it clogs up your clarity. So, my advice is to sit down with yourself and take a look at what really matters. Remember you’re with yourself, so you’re safe to be vulnerable and completely honest. Write about it in a journal. Writing is very therapeutic. I promise you this, when you’re consistently vulnerable and completely honest with yourself while setting your emotions aside, you’ll find the solutions you’re looking for and you’ll have peace in your heart.

Stepping Out

There are two sides to every coin. Let’s take this coin called belief for instance. A belief is acceptance that something is true or that something exists. On one side of this coin called belief, we have faith and on the other we have fear. Faith and fear are belief based things and both ask of you to place your heart in their hands. Both promise to take you places you’ve never imagined.

When you stand there holding that belief coin in your hand, take a long hard look at it and imagine what it might feel like to give your heart over to fear. Consider for a moment where fear might take you and imagine for a moment longer if you want to travel further down that road where fear will lead you. Places you’ve never imagined.

Go ahead and shake that off if it doesn’t feel good to you.

Now, flip that belief coin over and reconsider giving your heart over to faith. Consider for a moment where faith might take you and imagine for a moment longer if you want to travel further down that road where faith will lead you. Places you’ve never imagined.

Keep giving your heart over to faith, if that second scenario felt anywhere close to the vicinity of hope.

Each side of that belief coin asks you to stand in the presence of something intangible and now you know you have a choice. Will you step out in fear or will you step out in faith?

A New Kind of Christmas Treat

      Wow!! Who can believe Christmas is less than two weeks away??? What a crazy time of year. This particular year it’s much less crazy for Keri and I because we made an agreement with each other to set a budget for us to replenish our savings account and pay off our credit card from all the expenses of the wedding/reception we had in October.

     This agreement includes forgoing Christmas gift exchange. We’ve spoken with everyone we would have exchanged gifts with and everyone has been understanding and supportive. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such loving and understanding family and friends.

What this looks like in our house is we still have gotten a few things for Marbles, our golden retriever, but all the pressure of shopping and finding the perfect gift for everyone is GONE. Zero shopping??? Ummm,… I think this could be a new tradition.

We haven’t gotten a christmas tree since our previous golden, Waffles, was a puppy. We talked it over with Garrison before we made the decision because at the time he was only 12 and guess what!!! He was totally fine with it!!! We do put up stockings and in the past have always done stocking stuffers, but this year we’ve super simplified our lives and I really like it.

It got me thinking though, because it is such a crazy time for most, I think it’s a great time of year to set aside some time for ourselves. We, as a society, are so busy trying to make the perfect Christmas happen for all our loved ones, we often burn ourselves out, which makes it more difficult to enjoy the holiday ourselves. Therefore, I’d like to suggest that everyone who reads this blog make an agreement with themselves. Take it for what it’s worth or leave it for another time, but I’d like to see each of you agree to carve out a little time for yourself. Yes, it is a time for giving, so why leave yourself out. Give yourself permission to take a warm relaxing soak, pamper yourself with some epsom salt and lavender bubble bath, give yourself a time out to read a good book, pamper yourself with a manicure or get a massage.

Make time for yourself. It’s important to create balance in your life. It’s important to give to yourself the time you need to replenish and restore so that you may be your best for your loved ones. IMG_3054

Looking for a Planter, Found a Lesson

I was busy learning some lessons last weekend and I’d be happy to share in hopes that maybe someone else can learn from my situation.

For our wedding we decided to plant succulents in various sized mason jars instead of getting elaborate floral center pieces. We did have flowers and they were beautiful, but the center pieces on all the tables had little wooden discs with the bark intact for the jars to sit on. We told our guests repeatedly they were welcome to take some home. Many people did, but we still ended up bringing 22 mason jars home. Don’t get me wrong, I love them. The little succulents are adorable and I call them the babies. They’re currently lined up the sidewalk to our front door, but it’s starting to get cold and I want to protect them and keep them thriving.  

 
So, I had this idea to make a planter out of the remaining wooden discs and random sticks we’ve found on walks (with a little help from Marbles of course). I’ve been thinking of this design and how I’d put it all together for a couple of weeks, maybe a month since we’re actually in December now. Wow!! How the time flies!!! 

Anyway, last weekend I went out into the garage to get this plan started and I got out all the things I needed: wooden discs, sticks I’d use to frame the planter together (when I say sticks I mean small branches of various lengths 2 – 4 ft long and probably 2 inches thick), wood screws, my drill and all the various bits, my clamp, a pencil and a ruler. Ready to start!!! 

I placed the first “stick” on the disc and clamped them together so they’d stay together while I drilled a hole through the stick and into the disc. I do that because, if you clamp them together and use a power drill to screw them together, the screw could cause the wood to split, but if you pre drill a hole for the screw, no problem. I learned that the hard way a few years ago on a different project. LOL. So, once I have them clamped and I’m reaching for my drill to put the appropriate sized bit in, I notice my drill won’t close down small enough for the bit. It gets stuck! It should tighten down all the way closed, but for some reason it’s stuck. So, I spray WD40 into it and try to open it up and close it down, nothing! CRAP!!! Ok, I’ll go borrow my friend, Teresa’s drill. 

Perfect, she’s not using it and she even sends me home with an extra battery and a charger. I put my broken drill away and get her drill set up with the perfect bit and start to drill. The bit goes half way through the stick and the battery dies. No problem, I have the spare. Switch it out and go back to drill. Yay!!! We’re in business!! I get the first hole drilled and reach for the first screw. It goes in like a charm, but once I remove the clamp I discover the screw isn’t long enough to hold the two pieces together. In that moment, I switched from determined to get this project launched to FUCK THIS SHIT!!! In my frustration I began to put everything away and as I was taking care to put things away in a calm manner a moment of clarity came to me. 

Today was not the day to build a nice warm planter for the succulent babies, nope… today was the day for me to learn a lesson. The lesson is this, when starting a project regardless of how eager you’re to get started, really, especially when you’re eager to get started, check your tools and supplies before you get started. By the time I got everything put away and swept up the saw dust from the one hole that I drilled, I’d calmed down and accepted the day’s lesson. I hope in sharing this story that this lesson helps more than just me.

The Wittol Things

You know how in life you hear people say, It’s the little things that mean so much? I have the PERFECT example to share with you today. 

I went to work last Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving, fully expecting to have a great day. The schedule was full and I was a tiny bit bummed that I had to work until 7pm, but I was happy to be helping out the patients. When I got to work Shanna let me know that her girls day care was closing early, so her parents would be picking them up and bringing them by the office to hang out during her last patient’s appointment. The day care closed at 4pm and Shanna’s last appointment ended at 5pm. 

Well, this was great news. I love any opportunity I can get to see those two little darlings. Grandma and Grandpa walked in hand in hand with the Goodnesses and I walked out into the waiting area to greet them and guess who ran up to me and threw their arms around my neck with a big’ol smile across her face. Lexi jumped up into my arms saying “Auntie Angel!!” With just as big of a smile on my face, I scooped her up and went for the other one. When I got to Taylor, she hugged me tight too. I just love these little goodnesses. They make my heart sing.

Well, Gma and Gpa had to get going as they were to be at Auntie Shell’s and Jr’s for dinner. That was fine, I said, I can watch these two littles. The girls had settled into playing with the toys in our waiting area after Gma and Gpa had left and a little bit into their play session, Taylor approached me saying, “Auntie Angel, I need to go potty” “Oh, ok. Let’s go.”

So, we made our way to the bathroom and I get her situated and while she’s going, she’s looking around and notices that there are two rolls of toilet paper. One is bigger than the other one and she asked me, “Why’s dere a big one ana wittol one?” OMG!! So cute!! I was dying to know what she would come up with, so I said, “I don’t know, why do you think there’s a big one and a little one?” 

 
She smiled real big and said, “Oh I know!!! De big one is fowr de big kids and de wittol one is fowr de wittol kids!” She was so proud that she had figured it out. It was adorable.  

 
“Yes, that must be the reason. It’s the only logical answer.” Every, single, time I go into that bathroom now, I say this wittol conversation aloud to myself and it makes me smile. It really is the wittol things that mean so much.