Monthly Archives: February 2016

Future Silver Fox

So, I went to the DMV this last week to get my drivers license renewed and I was filling out the paperwork. Name, address, date of birth, birthplace of applicant, mother’s maiden name all very easy and then I got to height, weight, eye and hair color. Whoa! Ok, not really that hard, but I did estimate my weight because I don’t weigh myself on a regular basis and I fudged just a 1/4 inch on my height. I’m really only 5’7″ and three quarters, but I wrote down 5’8″. I guessed myself to weigh 150 because that’s right about where I usually land give or take a pound or ten. Lol, just kidding.

IMG_0328Then when I got to eyes, easy brown, but my hair??? It’s starting to have quite a bit of grey, ahem, I mean silver. I wrote brown, but I did ask when I got to the counter when do I switch my hair color to silver and I will write silver!! I’m not going grey. Nope! Not this chick! I’m going silver. The clerk reassured me I had a long time to go before I had to consider changing my hair color on my license. She said 80% grey is the turning point. I’m only at about 5% right now, but just to be clear 5% silver. I’ll be a silver fox. LOL

Seeing Progress

Started making a to do list and I’m so happy with the progress I’ve made this week. Screen Shot 2015-12-26 at 8.33.01 AMI discovered that my list grew. That means I got more accomplished than what I originally set out to accomplish.

Shooting for the moon content with landing on a star, because a star is an excellent next leaping point. Man I am loving my life lessons right now!!! Feeling pretty awesome.

The Best of ME

Have you ever felt isolated? Have you ever felt like everyone else had happy lives and you were left out? Have you ever felt so alone that all you could do was cry? Have you ever felt like nobody could ever understand the hell you were living through? Have you ever pretended you had it all together and were terrified that other people might find out otherwise? Have you ever felt so frustrated with your life that you thought it might just be easier to end it all? Have you ever felt like you could not handle one more day of the misery you were living through?

I ask all these questions because I want you to know that I’ve felt these things. I have suffered from huge doubt in myself. I have felt in the past that the only value I could ever add to the world was to be something that I wasn’t. I felt there was no possible way I could add value unless I tried to be something that I wasn’t. I tried to be a lot of things that were not authentic to me. I tried to fit myself into life situations that didn’t feel right to me and did I add value to the world? I’d have to say I couldn’t have at the time because I was so miserable. I know what empty feels like on the inside.

Emptiness on the inside can NOT be filled by something on the outside. It was a long journey for me to come to this realization, but I did finally come to understand that my value comes from me being authentically me. I can’t be like anyone else because I am me. When I compare myself to others I always find despair and that is why I took myself out of the competition with others. I’m working on being the best me that I can be. I am where I am and that’s the only place I can be. I CAN get to where I want to be from here because I’m content with where I am and eager for more. More of the best of me. IMG_3253

How to Live a Mindful Life

Keri and I went to New Season’s this weekend to do a little grocery shopping and as we were headed to the check out from the produce department I spied a magazine I thought would be interesting. I paused for a moment and looked at the cover and then just kept walking. As we were unloading our groceries from our basket onto the conveyer belt, I thought to myself i want to go check out that magazine a little better. I told Keri I’d be right back. When I got to the magazine and was checking out the cover, it became clear to me that I wanted this magazine.

I carried it back to our check out line. I told Keri I wanted to buy this magazine and she gave me a little bit of a hard time. Granted, it was warranted, because I do have very little time to read and on more than one occasion I’ve purchased books that I’ve never read. I’ve often thought, it’s too bad simply owning a book doesn’t somehow upload the information up into your head. Believe me, I’ve tried several times and it just doesn’t work that way.

I really wanted this magazine and I promised to read it. Guess what. I’ve already read a couple articles. The title of the magazine is, Mindful taking time for what matters. The first article I read was written by Elisha and Stephanie Goldstein entitled, How to live a mindful life. 11 ways to take time for what matters. Here are the ways:

  1. Start your day out right. The way we start our day makes a big difference in how we feel the rest of the day. Take a moment to pause, check in with how you’re feeling, relax your body, think about what you’re grateful for, and bring a sense of presence to your morning routine.
  2. Check your body posture. Science shows that how we hold our bodies directly impacts our confidence. Try slumping over and saying, “I feel confident today!” It doesn’t even compute. Throughout the day, try relaxing the body, rolling your shoulders back and standing straight. Go ahead and fake it till you make it – your brain will soon get the message.
  3. Take time for your confidence team. Make a list of the people who nourish and encourage you. Make an extra effort to have more regular contact with them and less contact with people who are depleting to you. Ideally, you can do this in person, but a simple text will also help.
  4. Do something you’re good at. One of the best motivators to continue a behavior is when we feel like we are “good” at something. Whether it’s drawing, running, being s good friend – do more of what makes you feel good about yourself.
  5. Invite your fears to tea. We each carry around deep-seated fears about ourselves, from “I’m not good enough” to “When will they see that I’m a phony.” What if instead of running away from your fears, you invited them in with curiosity. Ask yourself, “What am I believing right no, and is it absolutely true?” You may be surprised by the answer and how much that can take the intensity out of fear.
  6. Set small achievable goals. We often make big goals without even thinking through what’s actually achievable. going from never exercising to making a goal to exercise five times a week is likely setting yourself up for failure. A more achievable goal would be to walk for 20 minutes twice a day and schedule it into your calendar.
  7. Keep track of your accomplishments. Because our brain is wired to focus on what we haven’t done, it’s easy to lose sight of what we’ve done in a day. Crossing something off your to-do list, even the smallest of tasks, can go a long way in keeping your momentum going.
  8. Self compassion it. Sometimes life is just hard. The ability to recognize a difficult moment and apply a caring attitude toward ourselves shuts down the inner-critic, creates stability and awareness, and helps to redirect attention back towards what matters.
  9. Remember: You, along with everyone else, deserve love too. Feeling “less than” can eat away at your confidence. But if you sent out a search party, you would not find anyone more serving of love than you. Stop, breathe, and let that message touch you for a few moments.
  10. Embrace difficult people. Say what? Sometimes there are difficult people in our lives that we have to spend time with. See if you can recognize that underneath their irritating behavior is a person. Often when someone is “being difficult” it’s because they are having a difficult time themselves. They want to feel cared about and understood. Seeing this truth helps bring us back into balance.
  11. Most importantly, adopt a learning mindset. If there’s one thing that kills confidence it’s our limiting beliefs of what we “can” and “can’t” do. Obstacles to your confidence are inevitable, but instead of allowing them to shut you down, learn from them, and boost your drive to achieve your goals – including becoming more confident.


I’m so glad I purchased that magazine and that I achieved my goal of reading the magazine otherwise I wouldn’t be sharing this article here in Apoztide with you. Have a wonderful day and feel free to share your positivity.


Doing My Part


Yup, that’s me. 4 months old.

I was 4 months old in April 1970 which is the month and year Keri was born. It’s also the same time a song you may or may not know was released entitled, Reach Out and Touch Somebody’s Hand by Diana Ross. This along with several others were the songs she released on her debut album as a solo artist. I heard this song on the radio last week.  Suddenly, my brain was flooded with memories of my childhood and the emotions I felt when I watched her preform this song.

The memory that stands out in my mind is the feeling I got when Diana had the whole audience singing along as they were holding hands with their neighbors above their heads and swaying back and forth. I clearly remember Diana’s face because it was beaming with a joyous smile as she listened to hundreds, maybe thousands, of people singing her simple lyrics.

Reach out and touch
Somebody’s hand
Make this world a better place
If you can
Reach out and touch
Somebody’s hand
Make this world a better place
If you can
Take a little time out of your busy day
To give encouragement
To someone who’s lost the way
(Just try)
Or would I be talking to a stone
If I asked you
To share a problem that’s not your own
We can change things if we start giving
Why don’t you
Reach out and touch
Somebody’s hand
Make this world a better place
If you can


I watched a LIVE performance from Sept. 1979 on YouTube that I’ll share here. As I watched, tears of joy welled up in my eyes. I got cold chills all over my body. I felt connected to something bigger than myself and it reminded me of how I felt as a child watching Diana preform and how she interacted with her audience. She was full of joy and was sharing her inner joy with everyone. I realized a seed was planted in my soul all those years ago as I listened and watched Diana sing the words of THIS song. The feelings this experience evoked from the past transcended time and space and had a similar affect on me today. In a sense this could be considered part of the inception of Apozitude. It certainly is my hope with this blog to reach out and touch somebody’s life and make this world a better place.


The Feeling Apozitude Creates in Me

The answer is Yes, I drew this. I drew it at a time in my life not too long along ago (mid January) when I felt overwhelmed by the things I had agreed to do. I got so eager to be where I wanted to be, I lost sight of the joy that’s available to me right here, in the present moment.

So, I pulled back on the reins and simplified my life. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to maintain the direction in which I intend to direct my life with the magnitude of what I agreed to do because it didn’t FEEL right. It can be challenging to let go of agreements sometimes because originally it feels a bit like failure and disappointment, but really that’s not true at all.

I’ll admit, I wanted to obtain a feeling of success and I thought accomplishing all those tasks would achieve that feeling. Then in the middle of it,  I came to realize I had piled on too much and I ended up dropping out of some of the agreements I made, but what I did for myself was salvage me. Which was a huge success because without me, I can’t make future agreements. Right?

So, I’m learning to create balance in my life. I’m learning to be selective when choosing what I’m willing to devote my energy towards in an attempt to manage the direction in which I intend to live my life. Which is to say, I’m living my life on purpose with the intention to feel joy.

I probably spent about 4 hours on this drawing, intensely focused on the balance of lines and their thickness, the contrast of colors and shadows. In a sense I created an image of how I wanted to feel and  I used drawing as a recalibration process. Drawing brings me great joy and helps me transcend stress.

Writing this blog and creating these images helps me feel like a super human. I intend to use my powers as a super human to create more joy in the world.

Where’d you come from little worm?

I’m one of those curious sorts. Not too long ago it had rained quite a bit and I was walking through a parking lot and noticed some puddles, not really that big of a deal living in Portland Oregon. There are puddles everywhere, most of the time. What was interesting to me was not that there was a puddle in the middle of a parking lot, but that there was a worm swimming in the puddle. The puddle was in the middle of a huge asphalt parking lot.

IMG_9969How did a worm get in there? I didn’t know worms could swim. I thought they were mostly crawlers in the dirt. I do see them out and about quite often though. I wonder if it’s because our dirt is so saturated with rain and they just get flushed out. I always want to help them get back to the dirt, but then I wonder if they just came from the dirt and I moved them back to where they started. I most recently decided to leave them be. I don’t move them anymore.

I might have pissed off a whole bunch of worms in my life time thinking I was doing them a favor.IMG_3234

That boy of mine, I sure do love him.

Screen Shot 2016-02-14 at 5.22.01 PM

Garrison is probably about 6 years old in this picture.

Look at that face. As far as I’m concerned you could crop me right out of this picture, not that I think it’s a bad picture of me. I just I love Garrison’s expression in this picture. His eyes are so dark and intense and the way he’s holding his mouth is so cute. It’s cute to me because I remember the feelings associated with that expression. We’ve always had fun together.

When Garrison was about 2 maybe 2.5 he used to growl and say to me, “I’m Garrison Tiiigeeerrr” with a hint of growl in his voice. His name is actually Garrison Tyler, so it made this expression so adorable. I miss those days, but I’m very grateful to have such a wonderfully caring and compassionate adult son. He’s grown into such an amazing adult person. I am so proud of him.

Those eyes and that smile allow me to feel the joy of this being’s soul and it pleases me greatly. Screen Shot 2016-02-17 at 7.10.49 AMThank you Garrison for being an amazing human being. I’m so grateful to know your sweet spirit.


Challenge Accepted

Over the weekend I was feeling a little under the weather. Just another cold. Needless to say, I didn’t workout all that much. I went on a few walks with Keri and Marbles, but I just didn’t have the energy for a full 30 minutes of weights or cardio. When I have a cold I usually go into an energy conservation mode and place my workouts on hold. However, even though I work out less, I still try to do my best to maintain healthy food choices. I’m not perfect by any means, but I’d say for the most part I make pretty healthy choices.

Anyway, on Saturday I was still in my pajamas sitting in my chair working on blogs and supporting people in my challenge group and one of my coaching friends, Kim, mentioned in her post that she wasn’t feeling well and had decided to skip her workout too, but she HAD to do something. Do you know what she did? She busted out a plank and not just any plank, a 5 minute plank. That’s right, 5 minutes in the plank position. I thought to myself and even commented on her post, “Well, if you can do that when you don’t feel well, I can at least try.”

IMG_0268I crawled out of my chair, sniffles, Pjs and all and got myself prepared to attempt a 5 minute plank. I thought it might be a good idea to record it, so I did. It’s much harder than it seems. While I was recording my attempt to do a 5 minute plank it became very clear I wasn’t going to be able to do it. I got to 2.5 minutes, but that’s not all. I also got inspired.

I don’t remember exactly where in the process this inspiration occurred, but I decided I was going to challenge myself to achieve this 5 minute plank. I have my friend Kim to thank for this new challenge in my life and I’m very excited about it. Anyone who is interested in joining me is welcome. I’ll be posting weekly updates here in my blog and on my Facebook page.

Let’s PLANK IT OUT!!! Who’s with me?

Here are a few different levels for various places to start and for goal setting.

For the FUN of it,…

There is an amazing thing in this world that’s an undeniable force. I sometimes lose sight of it, but I just received a reminder yesterday in the mail. This amazing force that I’m speaking of is the Law of Attraction which is the law that states like energy attacks like energy. I know it seems too simple to be true, but I’m here today to tell you that, yes, it is that simple and no it’s not too simple to be true. It just is!

Some of you may already know this about me, but for those of you who don’t, I’m a health and fitness coach for Beach Body and I love it. I love the interactions I have with the challengers of our monthly challenge group. I love participating in the challenges myself and I love the accountability. It’s an amazing group of people who are all focused on the same goal of gaining and maintaining a healthy lifestyle of eating healthy, exercising and creating balance in our lives. Not one of us is perfect and the support we get from each other inspires us to stay focused on our goals even when we don’t feel like it, even if/when we slip out of participation for a time. I’m here to tell you it’s the most amazingly supportive and accepting group of people I’ve ever had the privilege of working with.

What does this have to do with the Law of Attraction? Well, I’ll tell you. I’ve been writing this blog for a while now and my whole reasoning behind it was to connect with people and raise awareness of the fact that we all have choices. We can look at the circumstances of our lives and we can choose to focus on the good or we can choose to focus on the bad. The most excellent news is, it’s all a personal choice based on what makes YOU feel better. So, what makes me feel better is making a difference in people’s lives. I love hearing feedback from my readers. I love giving support in my challenge groups. I love lifting people up and helping them to see the good in life. I thought Beach Body was a perfect fit for me. Coaching people and helping them to make choices in the direction of health and fitness. That helps people feel better about themselves, right? Well guess what. I was right!

I love the coaching and there for a little while I was hung up on reaching a certain level of accomplishment, Emerald Coach. I felt like I was beating myself up with disappointment every time I checked my level of accomplishment in my coaching business. I wore myself out, which I tend to do when I start something new that I’m very excited about. I did the same thing with my blog. Everyday, I’d check to see how many views I had or how many subscriber’s I had and the same thing, disappointment because the numbers weren’t where I wanted them to be.

Well, guess what! I’m learning about balance and being gentle with myself. I’m learning that FULL STEAM AHEAD is not always the most strategic move. So, I’ve shifted gears and I’ve been doing the coaching thing for the fun that I have in doing it. I’ve been writing my blog for the joy of it because I enjoy it and guess what happened,…. I went out to the mail box the other day and received the acknowledgment that I had achieved the Emerald status in my coaching business. I couldn’t believe it! I had been striving so hard for this and then one day when I wasn’t even paying attention to the details, BAM!! There it is!!! IMG_0224

How did I do it? I focused on the fun of it. I kept my focus on the things I love about coaching. Same with my blog I quit looking at the numbers and then one day I decided to check and all of a sudden my views were over 18,000.

Life is supposed to be fun people. That’s the secret to life and the secret to success, follow the fun and BE CONSISTENT!!!