People will wonder how you live such a happy life. People will want to know what you know. People will want to be like you. People will want to sit beside you at social gatherings. People will doubt your sincerity. People will question your motives. People will dislike you for the connection you have because they haven’t quiet found yet. People will feel conflicted about how much they like you and yet how much you bug the shit out of them because you’re so damned happy all the time. All the while you’ll love them just the same, because you have been where they are before. You know how it feels to be lost. You know how it feels to be searching. You know how it feels to be grasping for connection. You know how it feels to try to fill the void within with anything you can get your hands on. Food, shopping, vacation, alcohol, drugs, sex and all providing nothing more than a false sense of self.
All my life I’ve searched for a sense of peace and I’ve found it many times. There are so many pathways to peace and various types of peace to be felt. Every level of peace I’ve achieved, I’m always amazed at how there’s another depth of peace and clarity to be achieved.
There’s a great sense of peace in knowing yourself. Knowing your value. Knowing your worth. What an amazing experience to feel and know your own sense of true connection. Honestly, there really are no words to describe exactly how it feels, but what I do know, is when you FEEL it, you KNOW it with complete certainty.
True connection to our authentic self is what provides a sense of peace that passes all understanding.
© 2017 Angel Zamudio
Over the last few weeks I’ve seen a bunch of posts on Facebook documenting the “first day of,….” whatever grade the little one is entering. The ones that really touch my heart are the “first day of Kindergarten” posts. It’s a whole new beginning of uncharted territory not only for a child, but for a parent as well.
I saw a post this week where a mom posted a picture of her daughter’s first day of Kindergarten and someone commented that it was bittersweet. The expression on the little girls face was one of uncertainty and her body language spoke clearly of her doubt, but what I saw in the background was a couple of unsuspecting onlookers who were captured in the shot as well. They unknowingly had added a layer of certainty to the shot as they smiled in response to what I’m certain was the sound of the mother’s voice reassuring her daughter as she captured the last picture before their departure from each other. The mother noted that they both cried and it reminded me of Garrison’s first day of Kindergarten.
I informed my employer that I would be late to work because I was going to be taking Garrison to his first day. He had his “packpack” full of all his supplies, he had combed his hair with a perfect part to the side of his forehead, tucked in his shirt, buckled his belt and made certain his socks matched his shoes. Such a dapper kindergartener he was. On the way to school we listened to his favorite song, “We are the Champions”. How do I remember that? I remember that because that was the song we listened to every single day on the way to school kindergarten through second grade. He loved it!!! I loved it that he loved it!!! Therefore, we did it every single day, because it felt good!!!
When I got him to school, I walked him to his classroom and explained that the next day he would be riding with all the other kids in the daycare van. I squatted down in front of him before I sent him in and I told him, “You’re going to have so much fun. You’re going to make friends and learn so much. I love you and I’ll see you at the end of your day. I want to hear all about your adventures”. I sent him into the classroom and pretended to walk away. I, carefully, peered through the window of the door. I saw him standing by himself next to an aquarium looking at some turtles. He looked around and I stepped away from the window so he wouldn’t see me, another mom saw my tears rolling down my cheeks as I leaned against the wall next to the door and she said, “He’ll make friends faster than you think. He’ll be fine.” She was right! He did make friends, lots of them and he is still doing just fine.
The #1 thing in my life where I have the most confidence is being this boys mother. I have 100% certainty that he will thrive and he’ll be happy in his thriving. I love you Garrison.
© 2016 Angel Zamudio