Tag Archives: clarity

BE YOU!!! Everyone Else is Taken

What’s the ONE thing you can count on in your life? Think about it for a moment. Whatever your answer is now, I guarantee you that with time your answer will change and the reason I know this to be true is because in all honesty, the #1 thing you really can count on is change. When you pause for a moment you begin to see how your “right now” experiences will create change in you from the person you were to the person you will become.

I know we live in a fast paced world of answers in the palm of your hand, but when you Google “sense of peace” and read what the internet claims the definition of this term to be, does it create a sense of peace within you. Even if I provided the definition for you here and you were able to read the meaning right this moment would a spark of clarity and peace ignite within you? It’s not very likely and the reason is because a sense of peace is not something you can download, upload or snap into reality. Peace is a way of life. Peace is clearing your mind of the clutter. Peace is being kind to yourself and others.

The other day during my guided meditation, I was instructed to focus on my breath. Focus on the very beginning of your breath where your awareness is the strongest. I always focus on the feeling of my breath coming and going through my nose. Focus on the beginning of your breath as it enters your body and without forcing your breath or changing it in any way, pay attention to the natural flow of your breath. Once you inhale, you’ll feel the middle of your breath just before this breath transitions to an exhalation there’s a brief pause. That pause is the middle of your breath and then when the breath leaves your body you come to the end of this breath. To help you focus on breathing, as you practice keeping a quiet mind you can say beginning, middle, end. I tried doing this. Beginning, middle, end, beginning, middle, end, beginning, middle, end. I quickly discovered for me this was changing the natural flow of my breathing, so I changed it to: b, m, e, b, m, e, b, m, e. After just a couple breaths I realize in a manner of speaking I was chanting; be me be me be me. I could feel a grin of satisfaction form on my face because this is what a sense of peace feels like.

Regardless of how I change over time and whatever mood I’m in at any given moment, I know I’m free to be me. Yes, I believe I’ll continue my practice of meditation. I love living aware.

© 2017 Angel Zamudio

Say HELLO to 2017

Yes, the end of 2016 is here and you’ll be seeing a great deal of media coverage regarding, the best of, and the worst of 2016 in the upcoming weeks, As you watch, read and reflect on the past,…. I implore you to remember where it took place. Yes, that’s right ALL of 2016 (with the exception of the remaining hours of this day) is where? In the past and yes, there were some amazing things that happened in 2016 and some not so amazing things, but we’ve already lived all of those moments. We’ve already felt all those emotions and where did all of that experience get us?

It got us to where we are now, which is the new and improved, expanded versions of ourselves in the NOW. There’s nothing we can do to change what has happened in the past. Regardless of what has happened, good or bad, it has helped clarify in our NOW what we want and don’t want for our future. We have a choice to utilize everything we’ve learned and expanded into, right here in this red hot moment of NOW. Right NOW you can positively affect your life. Right NOW you can change the course of your life. Right NOW you have all the power to make this day exactly what you want it to be. Making a choice today to focus your attention on the good of each moment will have an growing positive affect on the days to come.

Here are a couple of examples:

1. You encounter someone who’s in a bad mood, when you greet them they’re not exactly in a friendly mood, their response to you is short and a bit gruff. DON”T take it personal. It has nothing to do with you, with this knowledge you’re able to graciously grant them the time and space they need to process their feelings and be in whatever mood they choose. Maintain your happiness and move on. #1 they’ll appreciate you for allowing them to be authentic to themselves. #2 they might be inspired by your maintained happiness to make a choice to let go of or find resolution to whatever it was that made them grumpy, but if they don’t, that’s their business and you can continue on with your day in your happy mood.

2. Someone is confused about something you have complete clarity about and they come to you for help. You explain what you know to be true to help provide the clarity they’re seeking, but they seem to be stuck in confusion. They keep asking questions, your choice to maintain your inner poise knowing you have clarity will allow your inner calm to help guide them out of their confusion. #1 They’ll appreciate the fact that you care enough to take the time to explain, subsequently creating an opportunity for their resistance to subside with their elevated mood. #2 They just may reach the clarity they’re seeking as you’re guiding them with compassion. #3 You both walk away a little happier for encountering each other.

2017 OpportunityEvery encounter provides an opportunity. So, yes, you have the power to positively affect 2017. How will you tweak your perspective, your thoughts, actions and reactions to improve your future?

 

© 2016 Angel Zamudio

Are You Here to Make You Happy?

One day this past weekend, Keri and I were walking around the 23rd street area of NW Portland, as we were headed west on one of the streets and had just passed the entrance of an apartment building, a couple of people were exiting the building and I overheard one of them say to the other one, “You should do it”.

I had no idea what he was talking about or who he was talking to, but these words just started coming out of my mouth, “Whatever he is talking about, you should do it. Whatever it is, just do it”. The young woman looked at me and said, “I don’t want to be that crazy cat lady that walks her cat on a leash” I looked back at her and I said, “Who the fuck cares what anybody else thinks? If you want to get your cat some exercise and care enough about the safety of your cat to put her on a leash, then who cares what anyone else thinks?’ Her friend said, “That’s exactly what I was JUST telling her! Who cares?” She looked at me and said, “Wow! You are just so inspiring and motivating. I’m going to do it. I’m getting a leash for my cat”.

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Me? I’m writing this blog and making magic wands.

What a brief and defining moment in my life. I’ve never felt more certain of my purpose. I chose to come forth and live my life on purpose. My purpose is to inspire people where ever I am at any given moment to live their lives for themselves. You are the only YOU you’ve got. This is your life, live it your way. Who cares what any one else thinks? What are YOU doing today to make you happy?

© 2016 Angel Zamudio

How a Shift in Perspective Can Change EVERYTHING

Life is an amazing thing. It really is and I’m so grateful to be exactly where I am in this very moment. I love knowing that there are millions of tiny little miracles occurring all around me and they’re all happening so fast I can’t even keep track. It’s also very comforting to know that there’s absolutely no reason to keep track. Being able to recount or retell the miracles occurring around me simply doesn’t matter. All that matters is that I’m aware that it’s all happening right NOW.

Not too long ago, like a month or so, I claimed the song, Make It Happen, by Mariah Carey as my theme song and it was an amazing feeling to feel that alive energy pulsing through my body, knowing I was conjuring and developing the energy to propel my dreams forward. What I didn’t really realize at the time was that I still was trying too hard. I was trying to MAKE something happen and I can pinpoint the exact moment that the shift in awareness clicked in my mind, because I’ve been listening to Abraham-Hicks for many years. I’ve been practicing meditation and allowing myself to get connected to my Ultimate Creative Source and even though I’ve been aware of this concept referred to as the Art of Allowing for a while now, I was still challenged by maintaining the feeling of connection. I’ve had some brilliant moments of clarity that were so profound and eye-opening that it’s become crystal clear to me that I am IN FACT a deliberate creator. However, I still found myself distracted by nagging details of reality. That DAMN reality just kept kicking me out of my happy zen place of clarity. I was determined to find a way to keep myself vibrating at a higher frequency.

So, I’ve been practicing and paying attention to my emotional guidance. When I feel negative emotion, it’s like my body is sending me a notification and I switch my focus towards something that creates better feelings.  I’m beginning to realize my tolerance for negative emotion is getting smaller and smaller. It just feels too damn good to be happy, to stay stuck in an icky spot.

The moment of clarity regarding allowing something to flow into my reality versus making it happen occurred when a friend of mine shared a video in a chat group that I’m in for my health and fitness coaching. She has no idea the affect that one simple act has had on my life. So I’d like to take a moment to say Thank you to my friend Lori for sharing this video in our team chat. I also want to take a moment to thank Prince Ea for creating the video. This simple song and change in perspective has changed my awareness of allowing to a practice of allowing. I know it doesn’t sound like a huge difference, but in the long run it makes a world of difference. I know you’ll be watching, so pay attention to the changes that are coming up in the world of Apozitude and you’ll see a difference. I already feel it.

© 2016 Angel Zamudio

Tips on How to Live your Life on Purpose

What am I doing here? Does my existence make a difference? What’s my purpose?

Questions I’ve wondered many times in my life and I know I’m not alone, so I’m going to address these questions.

In the past when I’ve wondered these things I realize now that I was lost because I didn’t have the answers. I thought there has to be more to life than going to work, earning money, saving money, planning short vacations to escape the stress of the work I have to do to earn the money, so I can do the whole thing over again. What a drag!!! That doesn’t feel inspired,…

How many of us work to live? How many of us are settling for the “ho-hum” of life? I know I’ve wasted time in the past crying over my lack of purpose, begging to know the answer to the question, What the hell am I doing here??? I’ve worked many years of my life in the pursuit of someone else’s dream and to be honest, I’ve grown tired of pouring my energy into someone else’s “dream” and that doesn’t feel good at all.

Over the years, as I’ve poured my energy into someone’s dream, I discovered something about myself. I discovered I have a passion for knowledge and expansion. I love helping people and I have an abundance of love and support to give. I’m patient, compassionate and understanding. I discovered MY passion! So, to answer the question, What am I doing here? I’m writing this blog to help raise awareness in the lives of the people around me. There’s something to be said for consistency and my hope is that I can write enough and talk enough about YOUR inner power to improve your life in a single moment that you’ll begin trying it out.

Spending time alone can allow you an opportunity to take a good hard look at your life. Are you living a life on purpose or settling for the "ho-hum"?

Spending time alone can allow you an opportunity to take a good hard look at your life. Are you living a life on purpose or settling for the “ho-hum”?

The simple truth of the matter is, words don’t teach. What this means is: it doesn’t matter how much you read about ways to make change happen in your life. Change occurs in your life when you begin making attempts to implement change in the way you think, behave and react. When you first begin, you’ll find that you slip out of an awareness perspective and into older habits of thinking, behaving and reacting, but when you take positive actions you’ll begin to have the life experiences to support the words you’re reading. You’ll see improvement in your life and you’ll begin to catch yourself in the early stages of old behavior. You’ll begin noticing you feel better when you make choices based on awareness. This is the difference between “knowing” something and “LIVING” it!!! You will feel love for yourself.

Does my existence make a difference? I never wonder this anymore. I know I’m making a difference in the world by affecting the lives of people around me. I am a lifter of spirits, a giver of hugs and a lover of life. We’re all deserving of love and I’m grateful to be a giver of love. One positively focused person is more powerful than a million negatively focused people.

What are you doing here? What is your purpose? Does it make your heart sing? We all came here to be happy and we have one life to live in these physical bodies of ours, so remember this: Every second of your life spent not being true to YOU, you’re robbing the world of your own special uniqueness that ONLY you possess.

If you find yourself feeling lost, sad or out of touch, I HIGHLY recommend unplugging from the social world and spending some time with yourself quieting the thoughts of your mind and asking some serious questions about your purpose. There are tons of resources to help guide you through this process. I’m currently reading, You Are a Badass By Jen Senciro   and have Eat That Frog By Brian Tracy in my queue. I’ve also read Great by Choice by Jim Collins. The list goes on and on. Why? Because there are so many people wanting to live their life on purpose and the people who are living their lives on purpose, love the way it feels and want every one to know the amazing feeling of living your life on purpose.

 

 

The Puzzle and the Missing Piece

 

I was walking down the street with Keri and Marbles one day a couple weeks ago when I discovered something. I had to stop. I told Keri, “Go on. I’ll catch up. I need to take a picture.”

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See?

They continued walking and I stopped to take this picture. I finally found the missing piece!!! No, I don’t literally have a puzzle that’s missing a piece. It struck me as odd to find a random piece to a puzzle laying by the sidewalk. I just thought I gotta take a picture. I don’t have a puzzle, but that one stray puzzle piece just caught my eye. I took the picture on an impulse. I didn’t really know what it was going to be and I didn’t question it. I just took the picture.

As time went on, that puzzle piece kept rolling around in my mind. Why was I so happy to get a picture of a random missing piece of some random puzzle? Thoughts began clicking and all of a sudden I realized, I’m the puzzle.

I have been searching all my life for a place to fit in, a place to feel connection or a sense of belonging and all of a sudden this random puzzle piece provided me with some clarity.

Yes, I’m the puzzle AND I AM the missing piece. I am my own solution. All of my answers are right here within me and my connection with the bigger part of me.

It doesn’t always have to make sense, but follow your bliss and all the pieces will fall perfectly into alignment.

Clarification! Maybe,…

There seems to be a bit of confusion around the event coming up in a couple days. We’ve been calling it an event because, YES we did already get married up in Seattle in Nov. 2013, but that was because same sex marriage had just been legalized in the State of Washington. We had been wanting to get married for 18 years and in 2013 Oregon decided it was going to recognize same sex marriage if preformed in a state where it was legal. We wanted the benefits of being married. Our original intention was to 1. wait until same sex marriage was legal in Oregon or 2. have a ceremony whether it as legal or not on our 20 year anniversary with family and friends. 
     Our 20 year anniversary is on October, 27th 2015. It seems like I’ve said this a lot recently, but I just wanted to put it all out on the table so it would be clear as mud. LOL. Which who knows how clear this will be or not, but here’s the deal,… before same sex marriage was legalized and even now that it has been legalized, it’s a HUGE deal. So yes, we are married and yes we are having an event that can’t really be called just a reception because we are doing some of the wedding stuff. Since we’re already married we feel weird calling it a wedding, but again we are som of the wedding stuff. It feels weird to call it a renewing of our vows since we just did vows a couple years ago. So we don’t really know what to call this event and that’s why we’ve been calling it our event. 
     I’ve been married twice before I met Keri when I was confused and trying to live a straight life. I didn’t plan either of those weddings. Church people swooped in and did everything. This is my first real true love wedding type event bigger than 7 people attending including the Judge and ourselves and certainly it’s not my intention to minimize our November 2013 courtroom marriage. I can’t tell you how joyous that private little ceremony was to Keri and I (Thank you so much Shanna and Kelly) and truth be told Keri would have totally been satisfied with that one, but I wanted a stand before everyone and declare our commitment to one another ceremony and this is that event. 
     What would you call it? Renew vows reception wedding anniversary thingy. I don’t know. All I know is I’m getting a chance to share how I feel about the woman I love in front of our closest friends and our dear sweet families. I am a woman in love and I could not be happier to be having this celebration with the woman I chose so many years ago and am lucky enough to have been chosen by her as well. 
     I’m not sorry if its been confusing to anyone, because honestly it’s all been a little confusing for me for a long time. Until now. It’s crystal clear to me that I’m getting the chance to proclaim my love for my woman as my wife.  

 

Directions from Current Location

Sometimes I have no idea where to begin, so I put on my headphones, close my eyes and sit quietly. While sitting quietly with my eyes closed, I begin the task of calming the stormy waters. I pretend that all the incessant thoughts, worries and concerns are bits of weather disturbing the surface of my ocean.
When I begin and the thoughts are keeping my mind turning and stirring, I imagine the ocean in a storm. The sky is dark and full of clouds. The waves are rocking and rolling. The wind is blowing and rain is beating down. This doesn’t represent the calm I am seeking, but it’s kinda like my map app in that it gives me my current location and provides direction to my desired destination.

 

As I begin my journey to clear my mind of nagging thoughts, I taper the winds off and the clouds begin to drift away and break apart. I slow the rain into a light refreshing sprinkle and then bits of blue sky start peering out as the clouds are opening up. The waves are calming.

Suddenly, my mind is a clear blue ocean on a warm sunny day with a cool gentle breeze. I have arrived at my desired destination. 

 

Going LIVE in,…3, 2, 1!!!

I just want to take a moment to share some real feelings I have had over the last few days. Not to imply that I am usually not sharing real feelings in here, but I had a slight little scare. As you probably know if you’re an avid reader, Keri and I went to NYC for a week recently and I know I have made my feelings clear about NYC, but I want to bring it full circle.

We got home on Thursday Oct. 16th and by Sunday Oct. 19th I was still wiped out from my NYC experience. I was so tired and sort of felt like I had lost my luster a bit. I was writing for my blog to post for the upcoming week and I was not feeling motivated or inspired. I had a fleeting fearful thought, Could I be done writing Apozitude? I just am not feeling the usual zest and passion I usually feel. I felt like I was writing CRAP.

It felt like I was only giving 3%, but my energy level was ZAPPED!!! I was not liking how NYC MADE me feel. I talked to Keri about my feelings of doubt and she helped me see things a little clearer. Now it is Wednesday Oct. 22 and I have had some time to get back into my routine. I started working out and meditating again. It is amazing how a slight shift can throw you totally off your axis and send you swirling out of control and doubting your true path.

I am feeling like I have regained my balance and I am pleased to announce that I am grateful for the time I spent in NYC. Being home and reflecting on the wonderful experiences we had creates appreciation and gratitude. I love my life. I love exploring and I love being home.

Silence, meditation and time to myself, my true self, resuscitated Apozitude. And we’re on again. Thank you.

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New York City is not the City for Me

️We had a blast in NYC last week. Our first morning there we went to a bagel shop, Bagels on the Square, where we got the local treatment of being yelled at by the staff. You better well know what the hell you want when you walk into that place, at least that’s how I interpreted their behavior. I knew I had been wanting to try cream cheese and lox, but they probably had 30 or so different kinds of cream cheese to choose from and I didn’t even get a chance to look at them all. It was a little off putting, but the bagel was very good. I ordered an everything bagel (my go to bagel) with cream cheese and lox, not toasted. It was very yummy. I told Keri, I’d have that again.

We got “kauffee” (pronounced in a NY accent) around the corner from our apartment, not Stump Town, but it was good. As we waited for our kauffee that first morning a bunch of little kids were rushing off to school and one of them popped into the little shop we were in and bought himself a danish. He wasn’t more than 6 or 7 years old and he walked into that coffee shop with a 20, ordered his danish, got his change, placed a tip in the jar and ran off to school. It was so cute. He had dark curly hair and his curls were a little bigger than nickel sized. He had cute little rubber toed tennis shoes on with a little back pack.

As I observed him, I naturally thought about my son, Garrison, and the difference growing up in a city with 8.4 million (NYC) has on kids versus growing up in a city with 609,000 (Portland). That’s a huge difference. I got a little curious when I looked at those numbers and looked up Manhattan, Portland, Oklahoma City and Poteau, OK. For those of you that don’t know, Poteau, Oklahoma is where Garrison currently lives.

Here is what I found:
Manhattan has 1.6 million people in a 33.77 sq. mile area,
Portland has 609,500 people in a 145.1 sq. mile area,
OKC (where I grew up) has 610,600 people in 621 sq. mile area,
Poteau, OK has 8,590 people in a 31.7 sq. mile area.

I’m not usually a numbers person, but those are some pretty impressive differences. What I learned about myself in the time I spent in New York is, it’s not the city for me. It seems like you have to try harder to attain peace with that many people in such a small space. I don’t know about you, but I much prefer the path of least resistance to a sense of peace.