Tag Archives: freedom

What Feels Right?

You know what? I have a confession to make. The truth is, the main reason I started writing this blog is because I wanted to share my thoughts, my stories and insights about living life with a positive attitude. The majority of these blogs are based on challenges I’m currently facing or have faced in the past and how I’ve chosen to deal with them.

I’m by no means an expert at living perfectly positive, but what I can say is, I’m an expert at giving continual effort in the direction of living as positively as I’m able at any given moment. My goal is to publish a book based on the blogs of Apozitude and I’d love to go on a book tour. Traveling to book stores and coffee shops all over the place, speaking about the philosophy of Apozitude and how this blog has positively affected my life and others as well.

Over the last few years, as I’ve been writing Apozitude, wait,…. how long have I been writing this blog? OMG!!! I just checked and my 1st blog was published on 8/2/2013. WHOA!!! In 4 months it will be 5 years!!! I just blew my own mind, HAHA!!! So, over the last several years, many different topics have come up in the news and social media that have triggered a question within myself about my responsibility. What is my role in this World as a blogger of positivity? I’ve given a great deal of serious thought multiple times over the years.

The “feel right” answer I come to every single time is “Stay the course”. What’s that mean exactly? It means to keep my focus on the guiding principle of Apozitude. My creed has evolved slightly over the years, but my platform has reliably been based on positivity and expanding awareness regarding personal choice in an attempt to empower individuals to live authentic to themselves.

Whatever “authentic to yourself” may look like to you or be expressed in your life, I accept, because everyone has the right to live their own authenticity. I can’t promise I’ll agree, because nobody ever said we all need to see eye to eye….we just deserve the freedom to be ourselves.

© 2018 Angel Zamudio

Clarification on How to Create Space for Happiness

I wrote a blog a couple of weeks ago about how to create more space in your life for happiness. It began with a series of questions: Have you ever felt not quite yourself? Squirmed with discomfort in your own skin during a conversation or a particular situation? Had a strong emotional reaction to something someone else said or did?

I clarified that you don’t have to answer because we’ve all had these feelings and reactions. We’re all human and all come equipped with emotions and most of the time we allow ourselves to get entangled and imprisoned by these emotions and mix ups of misunderstanding. I know it’s uncomfortable, I’ve been there many times. My intention with that blog and with all my blogs really is to raise awareness. What I’ve come to know with absolute certainty is this,

The circumstances of our lives exist because we allow them to exist.

With this knowledge, as always you have choices. You could; choose to get pissed off and cast blame which will likely result in staying stuck OR you could choose to take an honest look at yourself and accept responsibility for your part and get to the business of moving on.

Not too long ago, I was in a situation that felt like I was stuck with zero power. I couldn’t change the behavior of others, I was continually stressed out and upset and I didn’t feel like I had the power to make the changes that needed to be made. I notified a person in authority of the needed changes and he chose to get pissed off and blame others. The writing was on the wall and I knew what was going to happen because this wasn’t an isolated incidence – nothing was going to change and I’d remain stuck in that stressful and upsetting situation UNLESS,… I accepted responsibility for my part. So, I made a choice and I took myself out of the situation.

It was exhilarating to finally feel free of that overwhelming stress. Even during this time of exhilarating freedom, I experienced dips in my enthusiasm that felt in close proximity to fear. I wondered if I had made the right choice, but I knew in my heart it was right because of how happy I felt. For the moments when taking that leap of faith got scary, I kept reminding myself that fear and faith don’t live in the same house. I’d look at myself in the mirror each day and asked myself, “Do you have faith that you made the right decision?” and I’d say, “Yes” and then I’d say, “Ok, then everything is going to be ok, because faith will lead you to your happiness. Faith and fear don’t live in the same house. ANY time fear knocks on your door and even if it gets through the door, kindly remind your unwanted guest, ‘You’re not welcome here because this is a house where faith lives!’ ” It made me feel so much better. Yeah, I know it sounds a little bit crazy, having out loud conversations with myself, but it really helped me remain calm and certain of myself. Certainty of self is definitely a feeling worthy of such a risk.

When you feel frustrated with a situation, it means you’re focused on the problem and you feel powerless and because you’re so focused on the problem, you can’t even see a solution. It’s like listening to a radio station that plays music you don’t like and just complaining about it. What I’m telling you is, you can take action and make a change.

There are multiple levels of making change, it doesn’t have to be ending the relationship or leaving the whole situation like in my case above, but I assure you the way to gain power in your life is to take a deep breath and then take a few more deep breaths. Take as many deep breaths as you need to feel your emotions subside, so you can step back from the feelings of the problem and evaluate the problem from a fact based position.

A couple of weeks ago when wrapped up to make my closing point, my advice was to focus on a solution and even if the solution you come to places you in a position of approaching someone who you felt had caused you discomfort, if you approached them with the intention of understanding their perspective and intention, with a clear mind and an open heart, you may very well be surprised to find the whole thing was a big misunderstanding. I clarified that I thought it was always a misunderstanding. Then I asked, Are you poised enough to guide the situation towards a solution? I believe with desire, determination and practice, you’ll gain the poise needed to guide any willing participants towards a viable solution.

The point I want to clarify now is one very important word, willing, because believe me when I say, if you’re working with someone who has no desire to take a look at themselves and make needed changes, you might as well hang up your hat and call it quits, because HOLY CAT!!! the unwilling, in my experience, are a stubborn and miserable bunch of folks. Personally, I run with the willing. Only you can decide what’s best for you.

© 2017 Angel Zamudio

Are You Being Held Hostage?

My personal vision is to expand awareness related to the power of choice. So many wonderful and amazing people feel as if they are being held hostage in their own lives because they don’t realize the freedom they have to make change.

If you’re in a situation and don’t like the circumstances, I’m here to tell you my friend, YOU have a CHOICE. If you can’t change the circumstances, you can change your attitude. A positive point of focus is a very powerful thing and can change everything you see around you. This power is right there within your own mind.

My dream is to connect with people who are open and receptive so I can help them realize they have the magic of miracles right within them waiting to be ignited.

Are you ready to set yourself free?

Where am I?

IMG_0792The picture you see here is a screen shot I took over the weekend when I was out and about and had no connection to wi-fi. I snapped a screen shot because as I waited for a moment of connection I experienced a FLASH of clarity.

I was looking some information to help me make some decisions and as I was waiting for the wi-fi connection to assist me with this information, an idea flashed across my awareness.

The idea was this, generally speaking, you don’t actually need to know the details of HOW to get to where you’re going. I know this idea seems to sound a bit beyond reason, but the truth is,  you only really need to KNOW where you are in this moment and every future event that occurs comes from this single moment of your NOW. Your NOW. Your NOW.

This is exactly WHY it’s so important to me how I feel, because I believe my future is created from my current moment. Therefore, with every fiber of my being I focus my attention on fun, freedom, health and abundance.

She’s Basking in the Glow of Clarity

Words are just words and often pale in comparison when used to describe a feeling, especially a feeling such as the feeling I experienced this weekend during a phone conversation with my dear sweet Momma.
I am moved to tears even as I type these very words.
Our family is like every other family you have ever encountered. Dreamy and seemingly perfect from the outside. Even from the inside there were dreamy and perfect times, but just like every family everywhere, we were a family made up of humans, who were guess what. Flawed in our own special way.
My Momma and Daddy had a fairytale marriage to hear them describe it. Daddy was Momma’s Knight in shinning armor. Momma’s hero, who had whisked his way into her life and rescued her from a childhood of abandonment, confusion and emptiness. Daddy’s love for her made her feel special. He saw in her the real woman she could not see in herself. His love lifted her up. Their love blessed them with a single child, who they believed was delivered directly to them from God. A true blessing to hear either of them speak of me. So, they named me Angel.
Lord have Mercy, I’m just a person. 🙂 LOL. I understand though, I have a true blessing of my own.
Anyway, this fairy tale relationship my parents spoke to me about so many times over the years was stripped from them by the dehumanizing effects of the Viet Nam War on my dad. Shortly after he returned from his service with the Marines, they divorced. The love they shared would never be matched. My mom never remarried and even though my dad did remarry a couple of times, I saw a love in him that he always carried for her.
Even in my adult life they both spoke to me individually about a reunion and the hopes they had that their relationship could be rekindled. They remained the closest of friends through their lives, but something just wasn’t quite right.
I believe my mom wanted the relationship just as much as my dad did and he pursued her, but she knew in her heart of hearts that for their relationship to work they needed to address some of their incompleteness. She was not willing to sacrifice her journey to heal herself for a relationship that she thought might mask her incompleteness.
In 2006 when my daddy died it broke my mom’s heart all over again, but it did not stop her on her tenacious journey to heal herself. This weekend when I called her at her request, she uttered the most joyous words I have ever heard.
As I said before, words are just words and often pale in comparison when used to describe feelings, especially feelings of elation. The words probably won’t mean much to anyone else, but what she said to me was that she has finally come to terms with the fact that she is the only person responsible for her own happiness. This is paraphrased, of course, and a summary of   our 45 min. conversation, but to quote my dad, “tears of joy” streamed down my face.
My mom has found the freedom to love herself. She has set herself free from the bondage of fear and uncertainty because she has found clarity. I have never been so happy and proud of my little momma. In the past, I would have worried a writing such as this would upset her, by sharing the private details of her life and now with certainty I proudly recount her victories.
Go, Momma! Go!!!       

 

Stress! Who Wants It???

What an amazing realization!!! It feels so amazing to learn and grow!!! Do you know that stress can be a VERY good thing? Yes!!! It can. Check it out,…

You’re be-bopping along through your day and all of a sudden you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel anxious because you feel you are unequipped to handle that situation. You feel the tension in your shoulders, you can feel things going on in your body stirring and prepping you to get the hell out!!! But wait!!!

You stop for a minute and take a deep breath, say to yourself, “This situation is uncomfortable for me. Why? because I don’t know how to handle it”. What does that really mean? Does it mean you truly are inept?

No! It doesn’t,… unless you believe that you are in fact inept. However, if you believe that you can learn and grow this stress feeling is a signal to you that you are currently in an amazing position of opportunity.

Amazing opportunity? Are you crazy? Who really feels like a stressful situation is an amazing opportunity. Uhhh,… ME!!! That’s who.

When you feel stress you have an opportunity to turn tail and run the other direction OR you can take that stress and allow it to fuel your desire to grow and change. You can overcome that particular stress by learning new skills.

When you learn new skills and overcome stressful situations you become more confident, you feel more freedom. The feeling of freedom allows you to follow your dreams, live your passion and inspire others.

The Value of Vulnerability

I don’t know how any of you feel about counseling, but I LOVE IT!!! Except when I hate it, she said with a smile on her face because she was on the “loving” side of it. However, I could not be on the loving side of it IF I didn’t deliberately work through the hating it part of it. The hating part comes from addressing deep fears and exposing the very vulnerable parts of yourself. It can be very scary and emotional. It’s a process, and I really really wanted to feel better. I am diligent in my efforts to feel better. The more I focus on what makes me feel better, the easier it gets, and the easier it gets, the better I feel, and the better I feel the easier it gets. I know it sounds far too simple, but I don’t really know how to explain it any clearer.

I started counseling in January 2014 for about the 17th time in my life. Seriously! I honestly just went and wrote down all the times in my life that I could remember that I’ve been through some kind of therapy to help me find my authentic self. Some being traditional, some work shops, some hypnosis, some church and that doesn’t even include all the self-help books I’ve torn through over the years and all the meditation and other forms of healing I’ve been through in pursuit of a sense of peace within myself.

All I ever wanted was to be true to myself and feel a sense of peace that I was content with myself and my life exactly as it was. When I sat in that chair across from my counselor and was asked, What is your therapeutic objective? My answer was, “I want to be me. I want to do what I want to do and not care what anyone else thinks.” I wanted to be free of the bondage I placed on myself all those years. The bondage of trying to make everyone else happy (and by the way nobody asked me to make them happy). I just took it upon myself as my sole purpose to ensure everyone around me was happy. Do you have any idea how tiresome and utterly impossible the task was that I had set before myself?

I was ready to let all that go. I was in tears. I was fed up with myself and I had been preparing myself for a life changing shift. I just wasn’t sure how to let go of the fear and the doubt. It was HEAVY and nobody really knew how badly I was suffering, because I carried it all inside of me. I think Keri began to understand because there were so many tearful uncomfortable conversations. I didn’t really want to burden anyone with my internal suffering, I wanted everyone to be happy. I was sacrificing myself and my own happiness, but to what end? I was fed up with not feeling free, plus my attempts to make others happy were failing.

Today as I am writing this very blog the song One Moment in Time by Whitney Houston came on and I had to stop typing because tears of joy were pouring down my face and blurring my vision. I raised my arms above me and cried glorious tears of joy as Whitney belted out these words, “I broke my heart, fought for every gain, to taste the sweet, I face the pain, I rise and fall, Yet through it all, This much remains, I want one moment in time, When I’m more than I thought I could be, When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away, and the answers are all up to me, give me one moment in time, when I’m racing with destiny, then in that one moment of time. I will feel eternity.”

There could not have been more perfect words being sung into my ears as I wrote about my transformation. With my arms reaching for the ceiling, head tilted back, face looking straight up, tears streaming down my face and filling my ears. I repeatedly said aloud, Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I got my moment in time and I am reliving that moment over and over and over again. I never get tired of being me and feeling totally free. It IS all up to me and it feels too damn good not to allow anything else to creep in and taint my wonderful mood. And that my friend is the value of vulnerability.

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You can’t see them in this drawing, but there were tears of joy. You’re just going to have to trust me.

Absolute Power

Sometimes I find my self stuck in a rut. Usually that “stuck” feeling is directly associated with incessant thoughts that plague me with heavy feelings of hopelessness, guilt, fear or a myriad of other negative feelings. The truly amazing thing about that last sentence is the word thoughts and I will tell you why.

We as humans have ABSOLUTE power over our thoughts. Stop for a moment and think about this concept. You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts. You may think you don’t, but think about a time you’ve said to yourself, I just can’t think about that right now, and what do you do? You change your focus and you move on to something else. Your mind may drift back into those nagging thoughts that bring you down, but time and time again, whether you are aware of it or not you shift your focus to something else, so you can proceed with your day.

You. have. absolute. power. over. your. thoughts.

The next step is to hone that skill of putting thoughts aside. Right now, it may be that your ability to set thoughts aside is like playing catch with yourself. Let’s pretend for a moment, you have an imaginary version of yourself and this imaginary version of yourself can hold your nagging thoughts for a bit while your real self can let go of those thoughts long enough to tend to some of your daily tasks. Then your imaginary self gets tired of holding the nagging thoughts, so they pass the thoughts back on to you. You sort of go back and forth tossing these nagging thoughts back and forth and back and forth, wearing you both out in the process. Contemplate the energy it takes to refocus every time you toss off those nagging thoughts.

Now, think about your ability to toss off those nagging thoughts. Imagine you have a coach working with you, observing you, and watching for indications of taking on those thoughts again. Then your coach stops you in the middle of the back and forth game and says, “Hey, real self you know you don’t have to reach out and catch those nagging thoughts your imaginary self is tossing back at you.” You pause. You look at your imaginary self and refocus without taking the thoughts back. It’s kinda like the idea that you can’t play tug of war with someone if they don’t pick up the other end of the rope. Right?

So, the whole point is to let go. Let go of hopelessness. Let go of guilt. Let go of fear and let go of that which you hold no control over. How do you do this? You focus on what you do have control over and that my friend, is your thoughts.20140510-172224.jpg

Remember, you have absolute control over your thoughts. Now, I DARE YOU to try to make ME think of something I don’t want to think about. You can’t do it, because I have absolute control over what I think about. I choose peace. I choose happiness. I choose love. I choose freedom.

Truth will set you free

Ya know that saying, the truth hurts sometimes,… Well, there’s a reason that saying exists and the reason, ironically, is because it’s the truth. Not only can a truthful statement be painful to the person hearing the truth, but it can be painful to the person delivering that truthful statement. The last thing I ever want to do is to hurt someone’s feelings and I guess since I’m writing about honesty, the truth is, hurting someone else’s feelings is the second to the last thing I ever want to do. The very last thing I want to do is hurt myself. I feel that holding on to a reality that is based on something false is torturous. It feels restrictive and binding.

I struggle with the method of delivery when approaching the subject of being honest, because I want to be honest, but I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings, so that creates an inner conflict. My guess is that everyone struggles with this situation. I think I’m getting better, but I have been told, on occasion, that I can brutally honest and I am not crazy about the brutal portion of that description, but I get it. See the truth hurts,…

I am working on being honest with myself and being my authentic self. I am also learning to be honest with others and develop a bit more finesse. I’ll be honest with you and admit I still need some more practice.

Another saying about honesty is that it’s the best policy and I tend to lean towards this policy. It seems to me that when I’ve shared my honest feelings, though it is challenging, it feels so much better when the sharing is done. I feel it sets me free. Who doesn’t want more freedom? Be honest,…

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