It feels like a very long time since I’ve been able to sit down with my faithful keyboard and open up to you guys and we have a whole bunch of catching up to do. So many things have been going on in the last several weeks. It would be difficult to include everything, but what I really want to share is a couple of life changing realizations I’ve had in the last several weeks. I KNOW you have heard these things before, BUT I’m writing about it again because #1 it’s worth repeating, #2 it takes about 10 – 12 times of being exposed to new information before it begins in sink in (if you’re lucky) #3 we are CONSTANTLY exposed to new situations, therefore we are CONSTANTLY changing. What you read/heard/learned here or else where before this moment, will be perceived differently NOW than the last time you were exposed to it because you’ve had different, more clarifying experiences since then.
The #1 thing to remember is LIFE IS SHORT and it goes by so fast. Take me for example, can you believe it’s been almost 2 months since I walked away from my previous job? That seems crazy to me. I knew for quite some time that job was no longer “right” for me, but I stayed because there were a million reasons to do so, but when it came down to the reason to leave, I only needed one reason. That reason was me. I left for my own sense of sanity. I won’t go into details, but I bet you’re wondering if I could go back and make different choices, would I do it? Hell no!! It may seem like a contradictory answer, but look, I love who I am. If I could go back and make different choices, I wouldn’t be the person I am right now. I love the people I’ve met and the experiences I’ve had on this journey. Those people and those experiences shaped me into the person I am and I realize I’m very blessed with a whole bunch of love in my life.
Some might say I’m a very lucky person and you can look at it that way if you want. However, I choose to believe, the love, friendships and happiness I have in my life is a direct result of my mindful intention to draw those positive experiences into my life, but the point of this was that I spent almost the last decade of my life doing the very best that I could to be the best version of myself and there were definitely aspects of it that I loved with my whole heart, but there also was that part of me that knew it wasn’t completely right. Ya know? All I’m trying to say here is, life is too short to be living less than a completely joyful life.
The other thing is STRESS will suck you dry. Since I walked away from my previous job, I’m beginning to realize how unavailable I was in my own life. It’s kinda crazy how different I feel. I have a new lease on life and I’m dedicated to living my life 100% authentic to me and unapologetically balanced. That being said, I’m going to honor myself right now and end this blog because I’ve been working on my computer for most of the day today and I’m ready for some rest.
I’ll close with my new motto, Does it spark joy? If yes, GO FOR IT!!! That’s the only question there needs to be. Right? I missed me too, So glad to be back.
Hi. It’s me again. LOL. You know I’ve been typing out this blog for the last 2 and a half years and I still love it!!! I’ve tried some other things and nothing seems to give me the same amount of satisfaction. I love the writing, the introspection, the sharing, the connecting, the personal growth and the drawing. Oh how I love the drawing. Sometimes when I’m sitting with my iPad drawing for this blog I find myself giggling with delight at what I’m creating.
Answer me this, who wouldn’t want to keep doing something that creates the scenario I just described? Giggling with delight….
What makes you giggle with delight? If you’re not sure, I highly recommend spending some time with yourself to figure that out. Life is too short meander about not knowing what makes you giggle with delight. Figure that piece out and then do that thing everyday. Loving life is what we came here to do.
Today is the first day of the rest of my amazing life. So starting today, right this minute I’m making up my mind to maintain the amazingness.
I have every reason to be happy with my life and even on a day when I might have something to grouse about, I’m going to focus on other things that bring me joy.
And so it is.
Over the weekend we had, Greg, from Nell’s Carpet Cleaning Company out to the house. Keri was so excited to get the carpets cleaned. I wasn’t really all that excited. I’d venture to guess that it’s pretty darn safe to say, I don’t really pay attention to the carpet.
We only had our downstairs extended living area done. This living area is large enough to accommodate our dinning table. Oh yeah, and he did the runners we have on the hardwood entryway.
Before Greg came out to the house he had given an us an estimate of $100. Perfect! Let’s do it. So, when he finished I reached for my debit card to pay and Greg said, “I’m not quite there yet” meaning he didn’t have a way to run the payment on a card. No problem. I have our checkbook right here.
While I was getting the checkbook Greg began explaining that he hadn’t made the switch to the smart phone technology. He really wanted to get an iPhone so he could begin utilizing the square for card transactions. He thought it would make his life much easier.
As I was listening to him, I was remembering that just the day before when we moved all our furniture out into the garage, I’d put my old iPhone 4 in a box of stuff that was just lying around the living room. “Greg, I have an iPhone that I don’t use anymore. You can have it.”
“Well, I’m not using it and it still works. I would just want to erase all my stuff off of it before I gave it to you and make sure the square is supported by iPhone 4”
Then Greg said, “Well if you do that for me then I say don’t write that check.”
“Well, you’re saving me from having to go out a buy a new phone, so yes!”
That’s really cool. I checked in with Keri to make sure she didn’t have plans for our old phones and she didn’t. Everything is always working out. Greg said, “You really don’t realize how much easier you just made life. I can’t tell you how excited I am.” I’m so happy I could facilitate such a wonderful improvement in his life. This is what life is all about.
My favorite thing about life right now is being green. Not to be confused with being environmentally conscious, however, I do place a great deal of value on such a consciousness. In this particular scenario I’m talking about, ironically, the metaphor of being a plant.
I’d rather be green and growing than ripe and rotting.
I love knowing I’m incomplete, this doesn’t imply, I feel I’m not whole. It means I feel I’m perfectly incomplete, content with my current OS (operating system) and consistently providing feedback to my developer, eager for an upgrade. Current OS: (45.4)
I love learning and growing. It’s so exciting.
With much more clarity than ever before I am able to see the Laws of the Universe at work in my life and it is with great pleasure that I am able to report that I am also able to allow these Universal Laws to create a beautiful life for me.
I picture myself as an orchestra conductor, standing at the lead of a vast room full of every instrument that can be imagined and with the wave of my arms, slight flicks of my wrist and motion of my whole body, I am guiding these musicians to play the most beautiful, passionate and deeply moving piece of music one has ever heard.
I am the leader of my band and I am having a blast.
When I was a little kid, maybe 9 or 10 years old, I honestly don’t remember my exact age. What I do remember about this particular story is I was visiting my dad in Taos, New Mexico and I really wanted to do go and do something. I don’t even remember what it was, but I do remember being really mad at him and as children do sometimes I yelled at him, “I HATE YOU!”
The reaction my dad gave me in that moment changed me forever, without skipping a beat he yelled right back, “Well I hate you too”. I could not believe what I just heard come out of my dad’s mouth.
I instantly began to cry and without skipping a beat my dad wrapped his big’ol bear huggin’ daddy arms around me and in his deep soft loving voice, he calmly said, “I don’t hate you baby girl. I’m sorry I said that to you, but I wanted you to know how it feels when someone says, I hate you. It doesn’t feel very good, does it?”
He lovingly held me until I was calm. He talked to me about the difference between not liking what someone says or does and what it means to hate. I don’t really remember the whole conversation, but I will never forget the way I felt when he said those words to me.
Life is a little more complicated as an adult than it was at 9 or 10, but I haven’t forgotten how I felt when I thought hate was being thrust upon me for a split second and that was for the sake of a lesson. To think that there are churches up and running that teach, God Hates,… anyone, is completely unfathomable to me.
I chose to call God my Ultimate Creative Source. We’re kinda tight my Source and I, so we have this deal where it’s totally cool if I refer to him as Source. During times of strife, it is my fervent effort to keep these two things in mind. Source always has unconditional love for us. Whether you can see it or not, whether you believe it or not, I know that we all are vessels of Source.
We all come from the Source and we all have the ability to allow Source to flow through us. When we truly feel the love of Source we can feel the tremendous amount of love Source has for us and we can love and heal. Nothing out side of myself can bring me harm when I am aware of and focus on the love from my Ultimate Creative Source.
I’m so grateful for all the years of love I shared with my dad when he was alive and I’m grateful, still for the love he surrounds me with from his eternal spiritual self. He’s always been a bit unconventional. I love you Dad. Thank you for everything.
I am coming to a realization that I really would like to apply a very simple math equation to my life. It’s as easy as simple subtraction. Let me show you.
My life – any more shoulds = a happy and content me.
This idea of subtracting “should” from my life has occurred to me in a number of areas in my life and I will reveal some of these areas in a moment, but 1st I’d like to discuss the reason. To elaborate and for clarity, I looked up the meaning of “should”. Here is what I found: should – used to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions: he should have been careful
In my efforts to live my life on purpose and with intentionality I have found that doing things out of a sense of obligation or duty never “feels” right. When things don’t “feel” right, you can’t really put your whole heart into it. Doesn’t that make sense?
I can remember in my early twenties feeling obligated to visit my grandma. To be clear, it wasn’t just a feeling, it was an intentional guilt trip that was placed upon me. When I say, “it was an intentional guilt trip” I am not placing blame on my grandma, because I knew she was doing to me what had been done to her.
I was about 22 years old, married and had a 18 month old son. Somehow, I allowed myself to see this exchange with my grandmother rather clearly and when she asked me in her syrupy sweet Texan accent, “Wha’s more important than comin’ to visit with your grandma?” I remember saying something along the lines of, “Well, Grandma, right now tending to my son is more important”. She seemed to take it well. I don’t remember a dispute.
What I do remember is the feeling that question generated in me. It stuck with me for a long time, my entire life so far, I guess. Right? From that point forward I knew with the utmost of certainty that I never wanted anyone to visit me or do anything with or for me out of a sense of obligation. I only want people in my life who truly desire to be there.
I am in no way claiming that obligation is a negative thing, but in this context, I find it undesirable. I think if the same undesirable feeling goes with, Should I strive to dress more fashionably? Should I try to wear make up? Should I try to appear more feminine or Should I work out right now? Then the answer, in my mind is no. I don’t think we “should” do anything that doesn’t feel like it aligns with our true self.
I believe a better question would be, Do I want to dress more fashionably? Yes, sometimes I do. When I don’t feel like it, I will wear my comfy jeans, sweats and t-shirts. Do I want to wear make up? Yes, I do sometimes. It’s ok to say yes and it’s ok to say no, additionally, it’s ok to change your mind.
Do I think you should subtract “should” from your life? I think a better question is, Do you want to subtract “should” from your life? It doesn’t matter what I think about you and your life. What truly matters is what we think and feel about ourselves and our lives.
My desire is to lessen my critical thoughts about myself. I want to be supportive and encouraging to myself and it is my belief that what you think about is what you talk about and words have power. So that means what you talk about is what you create and you came here to live out your dreams. Should you make an attempt to increase your self supportive and self encouraging thoughts? That, my friend, is all up to you.