Tag Archives: pretending

Soy Sauce Ninja says I’m Taller

I drew this Ninja in my left over soy sauce with one of my chopsticks

I love embracing that part of myself that’s forever playful and curious. I love sharing my child like ways of viewing the world and encountering people. I still play in my food and see imaginary animals and made up creatures in the patterns of wood grain in tables, doors and floors. I love the sense of endless possibilities and limitless creativity. This is where I live, in a world of ANYTHING is possible and it feels amazing.

I was at Trader Joe’s recently and saw one of the friendly clerks and she said, “I haven’t seen you in a while. Where have you been?” All of a sudden I felt like a little kid, like when I used to be greeted with something like the following, “I haven’t seen you in a while, look at how much you’ve grown” except since I’ve been a full grown adult, I can’t remember the last time someone has noted my growth. Which is kinda a bummer, ya know? Cuz I’m still growing.

So, I asked her, “Do I look taller?” She looked at me kinda puzzled and said, “Not really, why? Have you grown?” I said, “I’m always growing, ya know spiritually,…”. She paused to ponder the notion and said, “Yeah I guess we’re still growing I guess. Hopefully, anyway.” I said, “Yup! Look at me I’m spiritually taller” She tilted her head back with laughter as she restated what I had said, “I’m spiritually taller,…. oh that’s great.” To be completely honest with you guys, I’m actually physically shorter. Last time I was measured, my doctor logged 5’7″ even in my chart. I’ve been 5’8″ in the past, and I’ve been hanging on to that height in the 5’7.5″ range, but had to totally come to terms with being shorter when I measured in at 5’7″ even. That’s ok, I’d rather be spiritually taller.

© 2018 Angel Zamudio

Dependable Horse

     When I was young I had a very vivid imagination and to be completely transparent that vivid imagination is still very alive today. I love to pretend and I do it quite often. I’m not sure if it’s a sign of immaturity or complete brilliance. 

     I pretend I’m on a dance floor just about every single morning on my drive to work. I crank up the radio and dance all the way to work. It feels so good and it makes me happy. I don’t care who sees me. What I do care about is how good I feel. 

     Lately, I’ve been pretending quite a bit that I’m a cowboy walking around in boots and spurs. I ching ching ching through my day and when I’m walking around in my boots and spurs, my name is Clint. I even have a horse. He’s miniature invisible, but he’s a good boy, always there when Clint need him. His name is Peat.

     It’s kind of a funny story how Clint came to be and how he came to have Peat, the miniature invisible horse. Would you like for me to share this story with you? You would? Well, ok since you’re all excited to hear a story, I guess I’ll share. 

     I kinda can’t believe I’m going to share this story, but I said I would, so here it goes. It was a regular old day at work and the question had been proposed, “If you were to change genders, what would you name yourself?” It was fun. We all played along and I threw out a name randomly with a disclosure that I could change it if I thought of something better. I don’t even remember the first name that occurred to me, because once Clint popped into my mind, that was it! 

     With the stance of a gunslinger at high noon, a dramatic head turn and a raised eyebrow glare, I transformed into,… Clint! 

     One day last week I had been pretending off and on that I was Clint, the boots and spurs wearing cowboy and on that day in particular I had baked tilapia and Brussels sprouts for lunch. 

     Have you ever had baked Brussels sprouts? They are SO good. If you haven’t had them and plan on trying them, be fore warned: they are super YUMMY and the little rascals can cause some pretty toxic flatulence. When you try them, if this blog doesn’t detour you from your sense of adventure in the greens department, you should know that regardless of how yummy they are you must consume them with caution. So, don’t go popping them like they’re M&M’s. 

     Before I go any further, you should also know I don’t always take my own advice. Yeah, so,… Someone ate too many Brussels sprouts. I can’t confirm or deny who that was, CLINT!!!  but what I can tell you is that was the day Clint got a miniature invisible horse. This horse ate a bit more alfalfa than he should have and he was kinda gassy.


Whew, oh man! PEAT!!! Get outta here!!!!  

     The miniature invisible horse was named Peat because the definition of peat is decomposed vegetable matter used for fuel AKA gas. I’m betting this blog ended up nowhere near where you thought when you started reading it. So, you decide. Immature or brilliant? 

     Oh the joys of Apozitude. You’re welcome.              

Vitamin S

This is from my journal Feb. 28, 2009.

I woke up this morning and laid in bed with Keri for about an hour talking. It was delightful. I was scratching her off and on, not the whole time and we/I pretended that we were little and that I got to spend the night at her house. I asked her if she had pop tarts at her house and the adult non-pretending Keri emphatically said. “NO! Yuck!”

I clarified that we were pretending we were little and I was spending the night and she said, “Oh, ok.” So I asked, “What’s your favorite flavor of pop tart?” She said, “CHERRY!!!” with the cutest little grin on her face.


“You got any?” She said, “nope” I told her that pretending keeps us young.

We talked about the dreams we had and not remembering falling asleep. We talked about how we woke up in the middle of the night and cuddled and I scratched her for about 45 minutes. We started calling scratching Vitamin S, because she was not feeling well, so I started scratching her to create positive feelings in her to help her feel better.

Like energy is drawn to like energy, so if I scratch her it creates a positive reaction to attract more positive feelings/healing. Thus, Vitamin S.

Hi little leaf

On a walk last week I saw so many beautiful fall leaves. The contrast of the brilliant deep red leaves, as the sun shined down on them and lit them up like neon, against the soft blue of the sky is one of my very favorite contrasts. It reminds me that although contrast can be uncomfortable at times, without the contrast we would feel void of gratitude and oh how sweet the gratitude feels.

I fell truly madly and deeply in love with the beautiful Oregon fall in 1999. Keri, Garrison and I moved out here in August of 99 and that first fall was breath taking! I remember getting lost on my way to my first job, because I was so distracted by so many beautiful fall colors. I was so captivated by all the different leaves I would go on walks and collect leaves to send back to Oklahoma for my mom to see.


On that walk though, I stumbled across this leaf, and it reminded me of all those years I spent in Oklahoma. I tried to look it up on the internet, but it doesn’t really matter what type of leave it is. What mattered is the connection that was made.

It took me back to playing in the woods with my cousins. This little leaf transported me back to a time when I would run around on the playground with my friends. I remember pretending to be Batman, Indians, a teacher, a gold medal gymnast and when I jumped out of the highest point off a swing I pretended that I could fly. I made tacos out of leaves and dirt and they were delicious. Everybody loved them.

I have to admit that life of fantasy was so fun and amazing that I haven’t really ventured too far from it. I love to pretend and I am so grateful for the willingness in myself to pretend what ever the hell I want to pretend. I love feeling so good that I feel invincible. Sometimes I feel so good, I get pretty ballsy and I actually dare the Universe to fuck with me.

Sweet, sweet, contrast! Thank you Universe!!! Much respect! Peace out.