Tag Archives: Unconditional love

T minus 24 to blast off

I hardly know where to begin,… It would be impossible for me to accurately convey to you all the growth I’ve encountered in the last couple of months, if it even has only been a couple of months,… I am not sure where this growth started. I guess it has been an ongoing thing all my life, but the last several weeks, upon reflection, have been VERY powerful.

It has been challenging and I have definitely been on the edge. It has felt like standing on the very edge of a HUGE drop off and I have amazing support in my life. This support has said to me: you are safe, I understand it looks like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, but that is only your perception. Trust me, the ground to stand upon is out there. Breathe deep and take a step out there, one step at a time. Look at me. Do you trust me? Do you know that you are loved? Do you know that you will not be lead astray? You are brave. Take the next step.

I am so grateful for this unconditional love and support in my life. This is not just one person. This support comes from many people because I am mindful in my choices of who is allowed in my circle. If you are close to me it is on purpose.

When I face challenges in my life I know I can boldly take the next scary step because of the army I have backing me. Thank you. Each and every one of you.

Overcoming challenges creates fuel and I am a rocket. Count down to blast off!

There is NO question in my mind where I will land.

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© 2016 Angel Zamudio

They’re Very Different

      Waffles was our first dog and our first Golden Retriever. He was the best dog we’d ever had and yes, I get the irony of that statement. His entire life we referred to him as our dog of dogs. He was more than a dog to us, he was beyond human in terms of understanding personal space and the most gentle unintrusive being I have ever personally encountered. He never pushed through a door he may have found ajar. He always walked around anything he may have encountered,  even if it was laying flat on the floor. None of these behaviors were trained into him, that’s just who he was. Our little golden prince.  

Waffles and Keri, Yachats 2014. Note the leash in her hand.

      Don’t get me wrong, he had his less than perfect moments. He was a begger something fierce, but I guess that’s on Keri and I for allowing it. He wasn’t really a dog’s dog, no he much preferred the doting company of humans and even more preferred being the only dog. Perhaps that’s on Keri and I too. 

     Anyway, the heart wrenching void left in our lives after Waffles’ departure had to be consoled. We had no idea what adventures the future would hold in getting another puppy, but we fell in love with the idea upon meeting his mother who was pregnant with him at the time of our meeting. 

     Before he was born and after meeting his mother, we visited another litter of 5 week old puppies, just for a puppy fix. We received pictures of him a couple days after birth, at 2 weeks and 3 weeks. Then we went to visit him at 5 weeks and 7 weeks. The rest of the puppies would go home at 8 weeks, but we were scheduled to go out of town and couldn’t pick him up until 9 weeks. 

     Right away, we could tell Marbles was a very different dog than Waffles. It took Waffles a couple days, maybe even a week to even step on the hardwood floors. Boy howdy, not Marbles. No way! He was running the length of the living room, the full length of the entry way (covered with hardwoods) and up the carpeted stairs in no time at all.  

     Marbles is bold, brave and a big baby at the same time. He is hilarious and annoying. He’s very sweet and loving at times and at other times he’ll punch you right in the stomach with enthusiasim if you happen to be holding a stick. Over the weekend he bit through his leash. No, not chewed through it, bit it in half with one chomp! We had that leash Waffles’ entire life, all 12 years!!!  

Same leash.

                       They are very different dogs and even though they’re very different what remains the same, is our love for them. Marbles, too is our golden prince as well.      

  

Be the Grand Slam Champ of Life

Yes, it’s true, the circumstances of life can really suck at times. There are millions of things in life that can come along and knock you down a peg or 2 or 100 even, but what is also true is there is nothing stronger than the human spirit connected with the Ultimate Creative Source. 

When you open your heart and let all the goodness of the unconditional and unending love flow through you, there’s not a damn thing that can get in your way. 

Sync up to that power and you’ll be like the Energizer Bunny on a tennis court with life. Anything life serves onto your side of the court, you’ll slam it back like Roger Federer or Steffi Graf and you’ll just keep going and going and going and ,….. Until you are truly ready to rest and then you’ll croak.   

Puppy Parenting 101

Welcome to puppy patenting! Where the nights are short and the days are long. The food is over cooked and often a little bit cold.

Puppy parenting, where your Friday night date is a Wonder Puppy play date and your pockets are littered with stinky puppy treat crumbs.

Puppy parenting, where the main topic of conversation is the color, consistency and frequency of his poop.

Welcome to puppy parenting, where you get stopped every 3 -5 feet on a walk because he is so unbelievably adorable and where you discover it’s all worth it because of the unconditional love you’ll receive every single day for the rest of his life.

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One leads to another,…

I wrote this little introduction for one of my blog posts on Facebook last week, “We all have the right to be ourselves, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else.” and a very amazing thing happened, I received a text message from my cousin, Jason, that gave me cold chills all up and down my entire body.

So you understand his text let me give you a little back story. He and his wife, Deanna have been married maybe 2 years. I honestly don’t remember when they were married, but it was fairly recent. They lived in Midwest City, Oklahoma and Deanna used to live in Ponca City, which is 107 miles from Midwest City. It turns out Deanna was really missing her children and grandchildren. She had to move back to Ponca city to keep her heart happy. Jason felt he needed to stay in Midwest City for his son and probably other reasons too, but I’m not sure. So, this happily married couple decided to live apart for the sake of being true to themselves and what they individually felt was best for them. I asked Jason for his permission to share his response and he said, “Sure thing”.

So, here is his text to me, “We all have the right to be ourselves, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else!! Deanna and I are wearing our wedding rings again. We’ve gotten to the point that when someone asks us, “What the hell are y’all doing!!??” We agreed we would respond, “It’s not for you to understand. These are our lives and we love each other.” I didn’t marry Deanna with conditions. I love her unconditionally. She feels like she needs to be in Ponca City, I don’t love her less. She chooses to stay committed to a man that treats her with respect and will remain faithful, even from a distance. What’s so hard to understand?? We just don’t try to explain anymore. We have a right to be ourselves and feel the way we feel. Love you, Angel”

I have read and re read that text several times and I get cold chills every single time. I am so happy for these two love birds that they are able to make an arrangement that works for them regardless of what anyone else thinks or believes.

The other thing that came to my mind is that it’s not just gay couples or interracial couples that are fighting for their relationships to be accepted. There are all kinds of relationships that don’t make a lick of sense to some, but mean the world to someone else.

Not everyone is you, so not every relationship is going to be defined by your standards. You live your life and the rest of us will do the same. We’ll even serve you breakfast when you come to our place of work. No questions asked.

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There is NO app for that

I’m not really sure where to start on this one. I guess the basis for all these posts, so far have been honesty, with a splash of sarcasm and bit of growth and love. All from the only perspective I can offer, mine.

I had myself a little bit of a cry a couple weekends ago. I was sitting in my chair sipping my coffee from a mug I made for myself that has pictures on it of Keri, Garrison and I.

The one in particular that got my tears rolling that morning was the sweet little picture of Garrison and I when we first moved to Oregon in ’99. He was 8 and my hair style was from the 80’s. Awful!!!

The really sweet part of the picture was how it captured a moment when Garrison was snuggled in real close to me as we hugged and had our picture taken. While I was peering down at that sweet picture of Garrison’s little face, a Bread album was playing on our record player. The lyric, I would give anything I own just to have you back again, was bellowing out. These little tears came rolling down my checks as some feelings of sadness stirred in me. I miss that closeness we used to have, that sweet little love a mother shares with her little children. The tenderness and loveiness.

Don’t get me wrong though I have no doubt that he loves me and I am certain he knows I love him. The majority of the time I feel like I have handled his growing up and moving away very well.

It is challenging though. I have to work at it. I do think about him every day and I want to post comments on every single thing I see him post on Facebook, but I don’t.

Why? Why you ask me! Because I want him to be free to be his own person. I want him to be free to express himself in his way without having his mom comment on every little thing he posts. Right now though, his posts are all I know about him other than the stuff I KNOW about him. He is out there in the world trying to figure out his own shit. He knows where to find me if he needs me.

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Is this the right thing to do? I have no idea. He didn’t come with a manual and there is no app for that. So, I’m just doing the best I can with my current level of awareness and giving him what I think I would want, and that is space to be and unconditional love.