If you’re a faithful reader of Apozitude you know I am a writer and you’ll get this reference, Its another time and here’s another story. If you didn’t read that post,… What are you waiting for, it was a good one.
This story begins with a knowing. I knew I was going to have a pretty good chunk of time between dropping Keri off at work and getting to my appointment. I needed to find a place where I could camp out for a bit. So, I decided in advance to take my iPad with me, find a little coffee shop close to my appointment and do some writing.
Where I landed wasn’t ideal, but it worked. It was the Good Samaritan Hospital Espresso bar right across the street from my doctor’s office. I wanted a softer environment, I wanted something comfy. I wanted that little coffee shop off East Burnside that has the sunken lounging room off to the left with the big couch, over stuffed chairs and mix matched dining room tables and chairs. The whole room looked as if it was plucked straight out of the 70’s and comes equipped with open funky artsy chatty people. My people.
What I got at the Good Sam Espresso bar was plastic tables and chairs. All matching and perfectly clean, not that I have anything against clean. I certainly don’t, but it was the sterile feeing I didn’t appreciate in the ambience and otherwise. I’ll explain.
I was standing in line and there was only one person ahead of me. I was facing forward, as you would expect and from behind me I heard a woman say, “I saw your wife yesterday,…” and me being me, I (of course) thought she was talking to me. Without a single thought, I spun around with a big ol’smile on my face to see who I was having the pleasure of randomly bumping into. To my surprise she wasn’t someone I knew, but again without a single thought, I chuckled and placed the tips of my fingers upon my chest, as if I were surprised, because I actually was, and I said with that big’ol smile, “Oh, I thought you were talking to me,…” Much like the ambience, her response was very sterile, no returned smile or chuckle,…Oh wait, I did get something from her a dead pan glance and then a dismissive turn away.
I didn’t really put much thought into her response or the exchange and went about my business of deciding what I was going to order. I decided on a skinny cappuccino, but while I was waiting for the person ahead of me, I noticed a man, dressed in a pressed white shirt, tie and dress pants, had walked up to the self serve station. I heard conversation going on behind me, but I hadn’t really put the nice dressed man together with dead pan Nance. As I saw him standing beside me with his self serve coffee already prepared, I decided to let him go before me. No problem, right? Then he wouldn’t have to wait for my cappuccino to be prepared. He looked like he was probably on his way to work and might appreciate the consideration.
The person ahead of me paid up and left, I looked his way and tipped my head forward and said, Go ahead. He stepped forward, paid for his coffee and left. As he left, he and dead pan Nance exchanged pleasantries. OK, what’s wrong there? I’ll tell you what’s wrong!!! He didn’t even smile at me or say thank you or anything,… ZERO acknowledgment of the consideration I just gave him. What the fuck??? Strike two! That’s what the fuck.
Big deep breath.
Screw it! I had time ahead of me to sit and enjoy my coffee. Time to write. Time to focus on something pleasant and I wasn’t about to waste a single moment of that opportunity to relive or stay focused on an unpleasant experience that already happened and that I had zero power to change.
So, why am I writing about it now? I’m writing about it now because I’d like to share with others a reminder that we don’t have control over how other people behave. People can be shitty sometimes, but that doesn’t mean we have to be shitty back or carry their shitty treatment of us around with us. It feels so much better to rise above and carry on with our own good vibes. We have control of our own selves and we can choose to step off the roller coaster of irrational reaction and choose peace by letting it go.